Bed of Lies
by ViiraK
Summary: The servant keeps building his house of lies, the queen is questioning her love for the king, the knights are standing divided, distant kings are waging war, and the witch and the druid are in the center of it all because they know there is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends. Merthur
1. Chapter 1: The End

**Hey Welcome all to my new story (I know I've finished the others but writers block sucks)**

**I got into Merlin a few weeks ago and watched all the seasons (it was good times) and I fell in love with Merthur (which, come on, is practically canon maybe even more so than Destiel but I digress) and felt compelled to write a story. And so here it is.**

**It will be updated regularly since I'm on break now. Woot!**

**Key points: **

**One: This takes place after the events of season 4**

**Two: Lancelot did not die in season 4 and the whole him and Gwen thing with the bracelet and the kissing did not happen! Yet...**

**Three: The story may seem a little choppy at first, but it's because I have to bounce around between a lot of characters. If you have any questions just PM me and I will gladly clear up the confusion (I will be introducing characters who have their own agendas so I will be following a lot of people)**

**Four: This will contain Merthur (Merlin/Arthur) and Gwen/Lancelot (i don't know the ship name for that) and other pairings that I've decided on yet, so if you got problems with that then this story is not for you**

**Five: It will be violent and dark in most chapters. I can't write happy stories for some reason, so the rating is true and angst will abound.**

**Six: Everyone I mention has an important part to play and everything will eventually come together at some point later on. Be warned!**

**So, I don't think I've left anything out. I don't have a beta so all mistakes are my own.**

**Enjoy!**

**-The lyrics used in the beginning are: Landon Pigg, This is the Way it Ends**

* * *

Chapter 1: The End

_We walk in the shadows_

_We do_

_Find out what we all know_

_Our time is near_

_If this is the way it ends_

_Don't tell me it's meaningless_

_There'll be no compromise_

_We fall and we too shall rise_

_We will be spilled in blood_

_And this is the way that they'll remember us_

* * *

The scene shifted.

He was surrounded by carnage.

Blood littered the ground below. All around him were bodies, pieces of bodies, mixed with blood, weapons, and dirt. Torches as well littered the ground making some of the dead faces look even more grotesque as the light reflected off them creating tiny beacons in the night.

Smoke filled the air above; thick smoke that obscured his vision and filled his lungs to the point where it was becoming difficult to breathe. It moved, the smoke, as a solid shape twisting and turning in the sky as if it was a living thing and it warped everything in its path.

He could see all of it, smell all of it, and feel all of it as if he was there. In the back of his mind he felt he was there, but at the same time knew that he was not. It was a disconcerting, yet familiar feeling.

The scene shifted.

He was being shaken. He was being yelled at. He was being shaken and being yelled at for something he remembered doing, something he was currently doing, and something that he will do. The words flew at him in perfect clarity, because he had lived it, is living it, and will live it.

"Why? Just explain why because I don't understand!" The tone was angry and pleading.

Then he was responding with words that were all around him, inside of him, and completely out of his reach.

"Fix it! You think this will fix it, that this is the answer. That—that everything will be better now!" The tone was falling in intensity as apathy began to take over.

The shaking began again.

"Ho—" The voice broke and he could feel his heart break with it. "Why Mer—Merlin?"

The scene shifted.

The breeze felt nice. He had been in Camelot for five years now. He had spent countless hours outside and inside the castle. He knew just about every door, passage, and crack in the castle he now called home. And the countless times he had been to this part of the castle, he had never noticed the calming breeze.

He was glad he was able to feel it now, it was reassuring. He knew what he had to do and he knew that he had already done it; it was just a matter of the physicality of it.

He heard, somewhere behind him, a voice calling something that sounded like his name. His attention was captured by the merlin that landed next to him. He didn't wait for the voice to reach him.

* * *

"Merlin!" The voice was familiar and loud and yelling in his face.

Merlin awoke with a gasp; his blue eyes flying open and frantically looking about. His mind was still reeling from the images that had passed through him and was trying to take in both his current surroundings while latching on to the scenes shown to him. The future and the past overlapping with each other causing Merlin's mind to ache.

His sensory receptors came back and the first thing he felt were two hands on his shoulders. He followed the hands up to the arms, which is when Merlin realized his own hands were gripping the forearms of the person who was holding him up. His grip was vice-like and he could not muster the strength to let go.

The arms eventually reached shoulders, which reached a neck that turned into a face. The face was pale making the blue eyes stand out even more than usual. The lips were moving, but he could not comprehend the words that were being said. He focused back up on the eyes, which were piercing him with a worried expression, no, a fearful expression. That's when Merlin realized that his breathing was erratic and his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

"Ar—" He was gasping and it was frightening. "Arth—"

The pale face, Arthur, lost some of its fearful expression. "Merlin." It came out as a sigh of relief.

Merlin realized he could hear again. He could hear Arthur who was still holding him as if he was physically holding him together; maybe he was. He could hear other voices to. The voices were recognizable but he was too tired to place the sounds with identities.

His breathing began to slow down along with his heart. He took in a lung full of air and pain shot up from his left side. He must have winced because Arthur's expression became a mixture of worry and guilt. _Guilt?_ He looked to see if there was an injury on his side and that's when he realized he was on the floor.

"What happened?" _How did I end up here?_

Arthur, who looked a little less worried now, gripped Merlin's shoulders tighter and tried to sit the servant up. Merlin, figuring out was Arthur was attempting, tried to help and he ended up half sitting and half leaning on Arthur. One of his hands was still locked on Arthur's arm.

"You just collapsed." If anyone heard Arthur's voice crack, no one commented. "I—no one reacted fast enough to catch you and you hit the floor and began shaking. You were clutching your head and muttering. I tried—Gaius told me that you needed to stay still; needed to stop moving, that you'd hurt yourself."

Merlin grazed his hand over his side. "Seems like I managed to injury myself anyway."

"No one expected any less," the strained teasing voice belonged to Sir Gwaine who stood a few feet in front of Merlin. He was smirking, but it was obviously a front. The other knights, who were scattered around the room along with Guinevere, shared similar faked looks.

Merlin appreciated the effort.

"I'm going to have to insist that you leave this meeting and come back with me." The voice of Gaius filtered in from the side not occupied by Arthur. Merlin nodded, knowing there was no way he was going to be able to stay and he really needed to talk to Gaius anyways about what he saw.

Lancelot, who was the closest person to him besides Arthur, stepped forward and grabbed one arm while Arthur grabbed his other and they both lifted him to his feet. He tried to push the two men away, but he couldn't muster the strength to do so. He let the man lead him to Gaius's room.

An Hour Later

"Visions?"

"Yes, like when I touched the seeing crystal only this time, it was just in my head." Merlin trialed off as he lay propped up on Gaius's, as he liked to call it, 'Treating Table'. He was moving about his room/laboratory with surprising speed for someone his age as looked about for various potions.

"You had a vision without the aid of a seeing object? Have you experienced this before?"

Merlin shook his head. _No and I don't want to experience it ever again._

"The only seer I know of that's living is Morgana and she still only had them when she slept, when her mind was at rest. To see visions when awake, that is a rare gift." Gaius sounded more worried than awed or proud though and Merlin could understand why. He did snort at the 'gift' comment though. _It's a gift I would gladly return._

"Great another thing that I shouldn't be able to do shall we add it to the list?" His sarcastic question was not graced by and eyebrow nor a pointed look. That cued Merlin into how nervous Gaius actually was about the situation. He understood that it would have been a frightening thing to witness, his collapsing into fits, but this nervousness was not caused solely by that.

"You don't think this is a onetime thing do you?"

Gaius paused in his movements. He turned around to face Merlin. "I have met powerful seers Merlin, seers that were born with the ability, but none of them have ever received visions like you did."

* * *

Lancelot was the first to visit him.

It had been a few hours since he had collapsed onto the floor. His head was all but fine now and the only thing still sore were his ribs, which Gaius believed that he may have broken a couple of them, so they would be sore for a while. He was currently sitting on one of the benches in Gaius' room sipping on some soup.

He had expected Lancelot to show up after the meeting had finished.

"What happened Merlin?"

Lancelot sat down next to Merlin, straddling the bench so he could face his friend. Merlin looked up from his soup bowl and gave Lancelot a small smile.

"I don't know; had a vision of some sort."

Lancelot did not look surprised. "I knew it had to do with magic, but I've never seen this happen to you before."

"No one has." Gaius stated without breaking his concentration on the potion he was working on.

"Will it happen again?" Lancelot looked at Merlin concerned because it was a frightening thing to watch your best friend fall into fits without being able to do anything about it. Lancelot could face down beasts, bandits, and whole armies without flinching, but this was something he could not solve with a sword. He was powerless when Merlin fell and he could only watch as Arthur tried in vain to help their friend.

That was the question Merlin feared. He could live with knowing that this was just another thing he survived in his long list of close to death interactions, but not knowing if it would happen again or when truly scared him. It was not the visions either, he could live with that, it was that feeling afterwards where he could not tell reality from fantasy, where his breath would leave his lungs, and where all his senses were dulled to the point where he felt dead.

"I don't know, but Gaius is pretty sure that it was a onetime thing." Merlin told the lie before his brain made the decision to do so. Gaius did not look up from his potion or give any indication that what he had said earlier was the opposite of what Merlin just told Lancelot.

The lie was worth the utter relief Lancelot's face displayed. "I'll make sure to tell the others. They are all very worried about you Merlin; Arthur even canceled the meeting." Merlin was surprised to hear that. "Agravaine and some of the older councilmen were none too pleased. Gwaine took some pleasure in that I think."

Merlin had no doubt that Gwaine took pleasure in the annoyance of the old councilmen or as Gwaine called them: the Curmudgeons. The title referred to Borin, Cael, and Deverick. They were the only three councilmen surviving from Uther's reign and Arthur had kept them in order to counteract the other changes he had made to his father's court. They were smart men, but headstrong and were not supporters of anything new Arthur had brought forth. They about had a fit when Arthur no longer held council in the throne room, but in his old room which was transformed into an actual Council room with the Round Table in the center of it. It was the same Round Table that they had sat on a year ago, only this one had been expanded in size to fit the knights and the six councilmen.

Merlin would know too. He was the one that had to help design and redecorate Arthur's room into the Council Room and had to help bring the monstrosity of a table into the room itself. It took a week in total and each time Merlin complained Arthur would slap him on the back and say 'You're the one that agreed to be the King's servant Merlin.'

"Merlin?" Lancelot's voice brought him back to reality.

Merlin gave a sheepish smile to the knight. "Sorry, I'm a little tired."

Lancelot nodded understandingly. "Well would like me to escort you to your chambers then?" He even stood up, bowed, and offered his arm to Merlin. Merlin gave a half hearted glare at his friend at begin treated like a girl, but accepted the arm anyways.

"I'll see you later Gaius." He called as he left the room on Lancelot's arm. Gaius called something back but Merlin was too far away to hear it.

* * *

He collapsed onto his bed, _in my own room; still haven't gotten used to that._

Merlin had been given his own room in the castle when he officially became the King's personal manservant. It was not a luscious room, but it had a fairly large bed, a cabinet, windows, and a nice fireplace. It was on the floor below the knights, marking it a servant's quarters, but it was on the floor right above the kitchens making it a prime location. Gwaine had even offered to trade rooms with Merlin based on his nearness to the kitchens; Merlin said 'no'.

He missed living with Gaius sometimes with having the ability to talk to his mentor anytime he needed or just knowing that he was not alone, but it felt like the right time to move. He had been in Camelot for five years and he was well past the age to be able to live on his own. The other reason was that Gaius was getting old and the need to train an apprentice was becoming apparent. Merlin, no matter how much he loved Gaius, would never be able to take over as Court Physician; they both knew that. Merlin's place was by Arthur's side, which is why Gaius had brought in an apprentice a few weeks ago, Margret, was her name and she was now staying in Merlin's old room.

His door opened, breaking Merlin from his thoughts and causing him to sit up from his sprawled out position on the bed. "Arthur?" Merlin cocked his head slightly to the side wondering what would bring Arthur to his chambers so close to night time.

Arthur shut the door behind him and stood awkwardly in the center of the room. "Hey, Merlin." He seemed to be struggling for words. "I just…uh, I just wanted to see if you were doing better. Lancelot said you were fine but I just wanted to make sure." The statement sounded more like a question, like Arthur really did not know why he was there.

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "You were worried about my health?"

"Of course I was!" Arthur stated almost aghast at the thought the he would not be concerned, and then began to try to find the appropriate reason for being so concerned about his friend, _servant damnit!_ "Who else knows how to muck my stables as well as you?"

Merlin put on an affronted look. "You told me that wasn't my job anymore!"

"It will be again if you keep getting injured!"

_He's afraid for me_. Merlin gave Arthur a small smile. Arthur recognized that smile. It was a smile that had years of wisdom behind it, one that Merlin gave him when he knew something about Arthur that Arthur did not even know about himself. It was smile given when Arthur did something that Merlin expected him to do, but just not to him. It was a smile that he could image lovers giving each other.

Arthur stupidly grinned back.

* * *

The village of Elador was, for the most part, peaceful. They had their problems once and while with bandits and thieves or the occasional large animal like every other village, but they were for most of the time, calm. Everyone if the village knew that they were lucky in this aspect.

They all, for the most part, got along too. There was Gregory, the oldest man in the village that would yell randomly from his house at the local children, but he had suffered through sixty years of lie so no one really blamed him. There was the Andersons, a married couple that no could ever figure out why they married each other in the first place when it seemed like they hated each other, but the fights they had were quick and usually not very damaging. Everyone else though, mainly got along now.

A few years ago, when Merlin was still there, the village had splintered. There were whispers behind closed doors, rumors that were passed on from children to adult concerning the boy that where ever he went strange things followed. They would talk about the cart that moved on its own or the door that Mary swore she saw open when no one was near enough to touch it. These things had built fractures in the village, but the house fire had broken it completely.

The house fire that killed William Johnson, loving husband and father, may be rest in peace. Well, part of that was true.

But then Merlin left and so did the rumors and the hushed voices and the cracks stopped breaking. So, when Hunith started to hear a voice speaking to her in her head she told no one about it because it was a peaceful village, relatively, and she knew that those cracks had only been patched back together and not mended completely.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the first chapter!**

**Review! Please!**


	2. Chapter 2: From the Inside Out

**I've updated quickly this time!**

**Here's the second chapter.**

**Important note: Anythign concerning Morgana and Mordred is set in the past. It begins in this chapter two months earlier than the current plot and it will always be in the past. Morgana and Mordred scenes are slowly building up to the present and when it reaches the current timeline I will inform you of it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, if i did season 5 would be a whole lot different I'm thinking**

**The lyrics at the beginning: Airborne Toxic Event, Welcome to Your Wedding Day**

* * *

Chapter 2: From the Inside Out

_And you know it's begun from the beat of the drum_

_And the screams from the mouths of babes_

_And we pray as we're watching the charade_

_Welcome to your wedding day_

_We make it or break_

* * *

Two Months Earlier

Morgana had never been alone. When she was young and her father died, her loneliness was filled by Uther who took her in and gave her a home. When she grew up and Uther became less of a man she believed him to be, the gap was filled by Arthur who she had considered her closest friend. Arthur was not present when she awoke screaming from nightmares though, but Guinevere was and the gap was filled again. When she left Camelot, fought against it, it was beside her sister Morgause. Morgause was dead and there was no one to fill the void.

She was truly alone. She had Agravaine but she only saw him once a month if that and she knew he was only in it for power and prestige and not because of any blood relation. He held no love for her and so his presence only made her feel that more alone.

This made her question her motives, her intentions. Since she had truly cut off all ties to Camelot and the Pendragons, she had never looked back. She had felt safe with Morgause, she felt loved by Morgause, and she felt like she was on the path chosen for her. She belonged on the side of magic. And now, for the first time, she was questioning this decision because she had no one left. She only ever wanted to be accepted, to be loved for whom she was and somehow, this want, had led to her being completely and utterly alone.

So when a voice began talking to her in her head, she listened because she knew the voice and it was a voice of someone who knew her and loved her. And all the thoughts of doubt filtered away from her thoughts.

* * *

Present

She was staring at him again. She tried to bring her concentration to the council meeting (the second one in two days), to focus on what was being said, what was happening because she was a queen now, _still difficult to believe_, and she needed to. It was her duty to the people, to be the person who sat beside the King on equal ground. But as soon as she brought her concentration back to the matter at hand, her gaze would land on the man who sat directly in her line of vision and she would be lost again.

She knew she shouldn't be looking because she was a queen and she was married and she loved her husband, but she loved the man sitting across from her too and she couldn't help it. She loved him and she loved her husband and she loved her people and her heart was shattering.

She knew she should be happy. She, Guinevere, daughter of a blacksmith and handmaiden to the Lady Morgana, had become queen of Camelot. She had married a Prince that loved her. She had a title and she was able to represent the people of a land that she loved. She would die for this kingdom without a second thought. That wasn't the problem. She would give her body, her mind to the kingdom, but her heart, that belonged to a knight.

A knight that had come from no noble family, that had no royal blood, and was never destined to become king. This knight had come to her as a man who had no one and had nothing expect a strong, noble, and true heart. This man had been her knight before he was given the title of 'Sir' and had given her his strong, noble, and true heart even when he knew she loved another.

She was the Queen of Camelot, her husband was King Arthur, and she was hopelessly in love with Sir Lancelot.

* * *

Merlin, in the beginning, had loved the council meetings. He swelled with such pride to be able to sit on equal measure with kings, queens, knights, and noblemen at the Round Table; his word counting the same as those who he had been below his entire life. Not only, sitting at the Round Table, but sitting on Arthur's right had side had made the experience even better. He had begun his journey to Camelot five years ago. He was Arthur's servant for those five years and now he was able to sit next to Arthur on equal ground. He was happy, truly happy.

It was no longer the beginning, and now, Merlin dreaded coming to these meetings. It wasn't that they weren't helpful; they accomplished a lot in these meetings. It wasn't because Gwaine would always put in his two cents either, whether it was helpful or not (most of the time it was the latter). It wasn't because he would still receive glares from the Curmudgeons. No, it wasn't for any of these reasons.

No, he hated these meetings because he noticed.

He noticed the sly looks that Agravaine would sometimes adopt when certain plans were discussed. It was the looks of plotting that the Curmudgeons would send each other when they thought no one saw. It was the muttered remarks Merlin heard other make under the breaths. It was the looks he saw Gwen send Lancelot's way.

Merlin hated these meetings, because after all this time even at a table that forced equality, people still believed that Merlin couldn't hear or see anything. That they believed he wouldn't say anything, because outside this room, his word would not trump theirs.

He knew everyone's secrets and it was eating up inside.

Arthur, every once and awhile, would turn to Merlin to gage his opinion. He wasn't usually looking for a verbal remark, because Merlin always said something, but a cue. He was looking for some facial recognition that he said the right thing or had made the right decision.

And Merlin would always turn and give Arthur a smile of reassurance even though he just saw Agravaine steal a piece of a map from the table or he just witnessed a note passed from Borin to Sir Hector or he just saw Gwen's eyes travel once again to Lancelot.

And the lies just kept piling up and up and up.

* * *

"Missing?"

Arthur ran his fingers over his bottom lip like he always did when he was thinking. His mind was playing out different scenarios, different reasons, and different persons to why the courtier went missing.

Sir Leon, who was head of the knights and was in charge bringing forth the news the other knights reported to him, nodded. "He was due back about two days ago. I sent out a couple knights yesterday to follow his route and all they found were several footprints belonging to man and several horses but there was no sign of any living soul."

Merlin was trying to remember the name of courtier. He sifted in his seat, trying to find a more comfortable position for his healing ribs. Arthur glanced over at Merlin, but quickly turned his attention back to the meeting. Leon noticed but said nothing.

"What was his route?"

All eyes turned to Deverick, a member of the Curmudgeons and in charge of running the system of courtiers. He took this as a cue to pull forth a paper that listed the courtiers that left this week, where they were headed, and what they were carrying.

He cleared his throat but his voice still came out deep. "He was bringing a letter to Duke Bale of the kingdom of Lauith. He left at the beginning of this week; the letter was nothing of dire importance or secret." The name of the courtier was not recorded nor the actual contents of the letter.

"Bandits wouldn't kidnap a courtier; everyone knows they don't carry money." Sir Elyan stated. He usually stated facts like that to try and help narrow down the field. Merlin appreciated it immensely; it helped him focus his thoughts.

Agravaine cleared his throat and Merlin cringed hoping most would take the look as a sign of pain from his ribs. "If I may…" It was posed as a question but everyone knew that man would talk whether they said 'no' or not. "Why are we so worried about one courtier missing if he wasn't carrying anything of value?"

_Why do you care what we focus on? Was it your plan to kidnap the courtier?_ Merlin thought darkly and his thoughts reflected on his face.

"A man who works for the royal court is taken and you're wondering if we should look into the matter?" Gwaine stated sarcastically as he leaned back in his chair.

_Yes, that's important but not the only thing…_ Merlin scrunched his eyebrows together in concentration. He shifted again to lean forward in his seat, one hand on his side and one hand resting on the table with his head bowed.

Arthur looked over worriedly.

"He wasn't just kidnapped; he was taken from Camelot soil." Gwen supplied.

_Meaning it was of importance, but what importance and to whom…_

"That necessarily makes important enough to hold a meeting and send out knights?" Others were giving sounds of agreement with Agravaine.

"So you think he was taken because he worked for the royal court?" Percival, ignoring Agravaine, asked to Gwaine who had spoken up earlier.

_That isn't the reason. _"Because it wasn't bandits." Merlin didn't realize he had said that aloud until silence reigned over the table. He looked up to see all sets of eyes on him. _Oh, did I cut off Gwaine's answer?_ He knew it was still a surprise to some to see a servant on the same level as a knight.

"What, Merlin?" Gwaine sounded amused.

Merlin glanced around sheepishly at the group. "Well, it was important because it wasn't bandits that took him." His eyes met Arthur's who was looking just as confused as the rest of the group.

"Why is that important Merlin?" Arthur addressed him directly.

Merlin sat up, as much as his ribs would allow, in his seat. "This normally wouldn't be important, I mean, courtiers go missing because they are constantly traveling through woods and such." Merlin was using his hand for emphasis. "But this courtier isn't missing because of the woods and he wasn't taken by bandits. He was taken, as Leo—Sir Leon reported, by men on horses directly from Camelot, which is probably why it stuck out as odd to you Leon, Sir." Merlin looked towards Leon who nodded.

Arthur tried to bring Merlin's attention back to him. "But why is that important?" Merlin sent Arthur a glance that said 'it's cute that you don't understand.'

"Because that means it was planned. Not only planned, but it was important. Someone went to the trouble of finding when this exact courtier with this exact letter was leaving, what route he was taking, and when he was leaving. Then they managed to organize men who were good enough to kidnap this man directly from Camelot. This was a planned kidnapping and it was important to someone."

There it was that wisdom that Arthur did not know Merlin had. "So it should be important to us." Arthur said as the pieces clicked together in his mind.

"That was intuitive." Lancelot smiled at Merlin.

Merlin shrugged. "Elyan was the one that pointed it out."

* * *

Agravaine gripped the table tight in his right hand. Merlin was the only one who noticed and he just looked away, hoping that all these lies wouldn't come tumbling down around him any time soon because it was nice being looked at with appreciation from Arthur and not betrayal.

The meeting was finally over. After Merlin's revelation, plans were quickly made to discover who had kidnapped the courtier, which involved sending a group of soldiers and knights to surrounding villages to see if they had seen anything pass their though their towns.

Lancelot stood up from his chair with the rest of the people in the room. Gwaine, who sat next to him, was stretching and making obscene sounds. His lips curled up despite his best efforts and he made his way to the door. He felt a presence next to him. He turned just as Gwen was sweeping past him; her long blue gown trailing behind her as she moved with grace. His eyes followed her until she turned a corner and left his field of vision.

A body bumped into his, he turned, and for a moment his eyes met Merlin's who was looking at him as if he knew his intentions, which was a completely ridiculously thought. He burned with embarrassment just the same as Merlin was dragged away from him by the king.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the next chapter.**

**Please review and tell me what you think! Everyone who reviews gets cookies!**


	3. Chapter 3: Fools and Kings

**Hola! Next chapter is here y'all**

**I have no comments to make on this chapter other than I hope that you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: Me no own nothing**

**The lyrics in the beginning: Bruce Springsteen, In the Land of Hopes and Dreams**

* * *

Chapter 3: Fools and Kings

_Well, this train carries saints and sinners_

_This train carries losers and winners_

_This train carries whore and gamblers_

_This train carries lost souls_

_I said, this train carries broken-hearted_

_This train, thieves and sweet souls departed_

_This train carries fools and kings_

* * *

Duke Bale of the Kingdom of Lauith was a very influential man. He had hands in about as many pies as nobles in the kingdom, which meant if he wanted something done he could make it happen. He had worked his entire life, up to his current age of forty, to build these ties. He did favors for certain people who told other people and slowly but surely, every important person in the kingdom somehow, at one point, relied on Duke Bale.

The King of Lauith, Richardson the Third, was no exception to this rule. In fact, he owes his reign as king to the Duke who helped weed out his older brother so Richardson the Younger could take the throne. For this act, the king owed just about everything to Duke Bale.

Duke Bale was no above using this to his complete and utter advantage.

"Your trade agreements have been revoked?" The King's voice, which the Richardson was clearly making deeper on purpose so it would echo through the marble throne room, asked. Duke Bale, who was standing humbly before the King nodded.

He clutched a letter in his. The letter bore the symbol of Camelot's royal court on it. The Duke had just received this letter a few hours before from a courtier who seemed rattled and late much to the Duke's annoyance. He had ripped the letter from the courtier's hands, read it, and made his way directly to the king.

The Duke looked at the king expectantly and Richardson the Third knew, if he wanted to keep his title, needed to help this man in any way possible. "I shall send a letter to King Arthur immediately regarding this issue."

The Duke smiled, bowed, and left the room.

* * *

"Prince Boyle of Hanom will be joining us next week to revise our treaty we made with the kingdom years ago, so I need you to clean out the room across the hall today." Arthur stated as he rushed about the room, trying to find clean clothes to wear. Merlin sat on one of the chairs around the dining table in the king's chamber. Gwen was absent having already left the room hours ago.

Merlin watched the king bemused. "Do you need help sire?"

Arthur growled something out but the sound was muffled by the shirt he was pulling over his head; his head sprung free. "No Merlin I'm perfectly capable of dressing myself."

"Now." Merlin whispered under his breath and ducked as a wayward pillow was sent towards his head. Arthur pulled on a pair of pants, put on a belt, and began heading towards the door with a smug expression on his face. He would reflect on this moment and realize that it was quite sad that he felt proud at dressing himself.

His hand reached for the door handle. "You're not wearing any shoes."

"Damnit!"

* * *

Merlin was ready to declare dust as his arch enemy at this point. He had been in the room for a good half of the day and the dust still was not gone. He at the beginning thought foolishly that he had quite the easy day, only having to make a room inhabitable for a prince; no one told him the room had not been used since Camelot was first discovered though.

He was pretty sure that he was inhaling more dust than actual air at this point. He was surprise to find his breath didn't come out as dust bunnies. It was everywhere too: in corners, on the walls, on the bed, underneath the bed, on the table, on the chair, in his hair, on his clothes, in his eyes, and in the air.

He sighed, pulled the cabinet further away from the wall, and was met with the sight of the wall behind the cabinet that was covered in more dust. He flicked the rag in his hand, pushed his sleeves further up his arms, and began scrubbing at the wall.

He reached to dump the rag in water.

He collapsed to the floor in fits as visions assaulted his mind.

* * *

'_No, we must be smart this time Morgana; blatant attacks will not succeed.'_

The voice of Mordred filled her head. It was still on odd sensation to her, being able to hear him clearly and yet knowing that nothing was actually spoken aloud. His physical appearance added to the odd things about him. He was taller, broader, though not broad enough to look like a warrior, his hair had grown little bit longer, and his eyes were sharper and filled with anger caused by the five years he had been left alone.

"What do suggest we do? We can't exactly disguise ourselves long enough to see inside the castle." Morgana did not want to try and see just how long she could hold up a self-changing spell in the very heart of Camelot. Mordred shook his head to that idea.

'_We will plant someone on the inside. That is the first step._'

"Who can we trust enough to do this for us?" She rarely addressed him by name.

Mordred gave a small smirk. '_I believe your uncle is getting pretty bored.'_

* * *

The scene shifted.

A shield came from nowhere. It was pushed forward and made a hard contact with his face, his nose cracked. He saw a flash of a tree, a tree he had seen before, and then he dropped to the ground. He landed on dirt, he was outside, and he looked up as blood began to trickle down from his nose. He saw Camelot's castle, rising high in the sky that was beginning to fill with smoke.

The scene shifted.

Guinevere was running down a hallway of stone. Her heels were clicking on the ground loudly and muffled the sound of her crying, but the tears streaming down her face were still evident. She was running away from something, something that she couldn't face.

There was nothing chasing her though.

The scene shifted.

There were houses, two rows of them. He recognized those houses, he had seen them before, he had walked inside those houses before; he knew who lived in those houses. He just couldn't remember the name.

There was a woman screaming. She was yelling something, they were words, sentences, but he couldn't make them out. Whatever she was saying, it was important to her. She sounded scared and determined. Her screaming increased and the voice sounded closer to him than it was before.

He turned to look, but his vision was blocked by the pillars of fire that erupted from the house next to him.

The scenes dissolved into reality. Merlin gasped in a lung full of air to try and compensate for the rate of his heart beat. His flew open, seeing but perceiving the area around him. His brain was still latching onto to the visions and his other senses were still trying to come back to the present.

His breathing was becoming more erratic as his body and mind stayed in the future. His eyes locked onto the ceiling above him, a ceiling that was recently cleared of dust. His mind clung to that and latched onto reality. His sense began to come back to him. His breathing began to slow.

He stared at the ceiling, afraid that blinking would break his concentration and he would be thrust back into his mind. His body was shaking. His injured side flared with pain.

His breathing was normal now. He took in a deep breath and sat up.

The door to the room banged open.

"Merlin!"

He turned automatically, which caused his side to flare with white, hot pain. He sucked in a pained breath and ground his teeth together to keep from making any sort of indication of his pain. He opened his eyes, which he hadn't realized he had closed, and saw Arthur standing in the doorway.

"Yes?" He was too tired and in too much pain to bother with titles. His voice came out more forced than he intended. He saw Arthur giving him a calculated look; most likely taking in him sitting on the floor, holding his side, looking like he just ate a lemon, and the room that was still messy.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?"

Merlin lied. "I fell." Arthur looked at him, hard. "I was cleaning away the dust and I breathed in too deep. I had a coughing fit, tripped, and fell."

Arthur knew his expression was caused by more than a simple slip. Then he put two and two together. "You landed on your injured side." Arthur just didn't realize that he should have added two, two, and two. "Do you need to go see Gaius?"

"No!" He practically yelled it. Arthur was taken aback. Merlin did not want Gaius or anyone to know. They would worry, which would lead to questions and then his lies would begin to crumble down around him. He would be left with nothing. "I mean, I don't want to bother him and he can't do anything about broken ribs, so there's no point." _I'm beyond any type of help Arthur_.

Arthur conceded. "Well I can at least give you the day off then. I'll get someone else to clean this room." Arthur walked up to stand next to Merlin. He offered out his hand. Merlin did not hesitate to take it. "Come on, I'll walk you back to your room." He pulled Merlin to his feet, who was still clutching his side on the floor. Merlin felt a sense of déjà vu.

"Should I ask George to finish the room for you?" Smirk.

"Ha ha very funny Merlin." Sour expression that was slightly fearful.

"There's quite a lot of brass in the room I'm sure he would enjoy it immensely, especially if you asked him to do it." Large grin.

They walked side by side out of the room and into the hallway.

* * *

"I wish we didn't have to rely on Agravaine." Morgana stated as she looked over her collection of jars. The only other person in the room, Mordred, was sitting still as statue in chair in the far former of the room. He had been in that position for hours, had not even opened his eyes and Morgana was unnerved by it. "I do not trust that man. He is only doing this because he believes its best for himself."

'_I know my kin, but it is necessary if we want Arthur gone and Camelot to fall.'_

Morgana gave up her search for the jar containing leeches and turned to face the silent boy-man in the corner. "Why? It's not like they can defeat us now that we have found each other. They have no defense against two sorcerers. The kingdom would fall." Frustration was clearly lacing her voice.

Mordred opened up his brilliant blue eyes to look at Morgana. His eyes stopped any movement that she was thinking of making; she was pinned to the ground and he wasn't even using magic.

'_You don't know.'_

"Know what?"

'_Emrys.'_

* * *

"May I present Prince Boyle of the kingdom of Hanom." The servant bowed as the Prince stepped into grand dining room. There were claps form the occupants inside in order to greet the traveling royalty. He was not a tall man, but he stood with the knowledge that he was above most adding inches to his height. His eyes were a hazel brown that swept over the joyful guests in an absent manner. He swept his shoulder length deep brown hair in a regal manner and took his place to the left of Guinevere, marking him as a guest of honor.

Arthur, who was standing, raised his goblet. "Let the feast begin!"

The people did not need to be told twice.

* * *

Merlin hated feasts. If there was one thing that caused him more grief than dust it were the damn feasts Camelot's court seemed to hold every week. He was busy during the entire feast running to and fro filling up glasses, getting new plates (which people broke!), and escorting out the too drunk nobles back to their rooms or a guest room if they were really drunk.

He was currently set yet another plate down for Lord Herald who continued to break them with his overly eccentric hand gestures, much to the amusement of those sitting around him. Merlin was not amused by this.

"Merlin!" Gwaine called from the other side of the table, holding up his empty mug. Merlin sighed, grabbed a pitcher from another servant, and made his way over to the inebriated knight. He reached the table and Gwaine clapped him hard on his back jarring his ribs and causing him to hiss. It been a week since he had fallen on them again, but they were still sore. Gwaine was too drunk to notice.

Percival leaned over Gwaine, grabbed Merlin's arm, and tugged him down onto the bench in between himself and Gwaine. "You need to stop serving other people and join us!" He wasn't as drunk as the rest but he was talking in a louder voice than normal giving away that he had downed a few drinks of his own.

Merlin smiled at the gesture and set the pitcher down on the table. "What are we having?" Gwaine clapped him on the back again and Elyan raised his glass in support. If Merlin had been a tad more observant he would have noticed that Lancelot was never at the feast and that Gwen had quit early from the celebrations.

"Is that your servant over there, feasting with the knights?" Prince Boyle pointed out to Arthur. The chair that was between the two men, the one for the queen, was unoccupied allowing for the two men to talk freely. Arthur followed Boyle's gaze and saw that indeed that was Merlin sitting next to Gwaine.

He shrugged. "It's fine." The next statement Arthur uttered was something he knew he should not say to other royalty because he had a few drinks and the words were flowing. "I work him too hard, he deserves a break." He rambled on not noticing the shocked expression on Boyle's face. "He's a good servant, really good, my personal servant. Takes care of me…"

If Arthur had been paying more attention to the person he was talking to he would off chosen his words more carefully and he would have noticed the odd expression that was now adorning Boyle's face. If he would have seen this he would not have let Boyle stay in his castle for as long as he did.

* * *

**And that's the end of chapter 3**

**Please Review! I haven't gotten one yet and it makes me sad :-(**


	4. Chapter 4: Nothing's Permanent

**Welcome to yet another chapter!**

**A few Notes:**

**-Yes, to the awesome person who reviewed, part of the summary is taken from the Panic! At the Disco Song, The Calender. It was part of what inspired this fic along with the idea of the The End episode from Supernatural (hint, hint)**

**-When Mordred speaks its only through mental communication, which is like **'_this'_**; hopefully that wasn't confusing in the last couple chapters**

**No more notes, I have nothing left to say. Enjoy!**

**The lyrics at the beginning: The Killers, All These Things That I've Done**

* * *

Chapter 4: Nothing's Permanent

_I want to stand up, I want to let go_

_You know, you know, no you don't, you don't_

_I want to shine on in the hearts of men_

_I want to mean it from the back of my broken hand_

_Another head aches, another heart breaks_

_And my affection, well, it comes and goes_

_I need direction to perfection, no no no no_

_Over and in, last call for sin_

_While everyone's lost, the battle is won_

_With all these things that I've done_

* * *

Sir Leon sat saddled on his horse in the middle of the woods. There were five men on horses around him each wearing some form of tiredness on their faces. They were one of five groups of men that had left Camelot three days ago after King Arthur ordered the surrounding villages searched for the missing courtier. Leon had taken his group in the western direction and it seemed that they would never reach the outlying villages.

"We will stop and set up camp here." He could hear the relieved sighs from the men around him and he had to hold back one of his own. He slid of his horse onto his feet and began hitting his legs, trying to get the feeling back in his thighs. Hard work like this was not new to him, but it did not mean he ever looked forward to it.

Thankfully this would most likely be the last day before they started to head back. They only had a few more hours to go until they reached the outer most village, Raknor, and then they would be done with their mission. Leon only hoped that the other groups had been more successful.

* * *

The lance struck the knight in the chest, the wood fractured into thousands of pieces, and the knight was thrown from the horse. His body hit the ground full force, his armor clanking in the dirt. The crowd 'oh'-ed in sympathy but their focus was quickly taken as they turned to cheer for the winner of that round, Lancelot.

Arthur, sitting in the King's chair, clapped along with the crowd proud of his knight that just took out another one of Prince Boyle's knights. Prince Boyle, who was sitting in a chair next to Gwen, looked to be having a good time too even though his knight just lost. Gwen was cheering enthusiastically for Lancelot.

Merlin stood behind and to the right of Arthur's chair, his hands clasped behind his back. He was clapping earlier when Sir Elyan decimated three of Boyle's knights in a row, and he was clapping earlier when Sir Percival advanced to the semi-final rounds, but he was not clapping now. No one noticed, they were too busy watching the match and Lancelot, but Arthur. Merlin felt that Gwen's cheering was enough for the both of them.

"I have to say Sire that your knights are the first I've met that actual live up to the tales told about them." Boyle said as the cheering died down and Lancelot made it off the main grounds. "They are quite impressive as is the rest of your kingdom." If his gaze slide over to Merlin for a second no one noticed.

Arthur nodded appreciatively to Boyle before standing up. The crowd instantly quieted. "Tomorrow will be the final round between Sir Lancelot and Sir Percival. May the best knight win!"

The cheers were deafening.

* * *

"_Though I regret to write this my ruling on this matter still stands: Duke Bale and his company are no longer permitted to trade in Camelot land. Since you have been insistent in this matter and do not trust nor follow my ruling over my own land, you leave me no choice: for this day hence, all trade routes in Camelot shall be closed to the Kingdom of Lauith until further notice."_

_Signed, _

_Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot _

King Richardson crumbled up the letter in his hand. His frustration and his humiliation were evident on his face, many of the servants cleared out of the room to perform other duties. The Duke was the only one who was still present in the room besides the king; he already read the letter.

"They cannot be allowed to deface us like this," he said from his standing position in front of the king's chair. "Sire." He added with an afterthought.

The king threw the letter to the ground. "King Arthur," he spat the name. "Clearly believes that this kingdom is not as worthy or strong as his or would not have sent such a—such a letter! I will not be made a fool of by some Pendragon who has only been on the throne for a month!"

The Duke did not even try to hold back his smile. "What will be your action Sire?"

"I will be travelling to speak with an old friend." The king stepped down from his chair. "And you will continue to trade in Camelot despite King Arthur's ruling." The Duke bowed and walked away.

A figure, which stood silently behind a pillar in servant garb, flittered away as the King stormed out of his throne room. The servant not seen again.

* * *

Lancelot pulled the sweat filled tunic off of his head and tossed it on the floor. The sun was sinking in the sky, last rays of light filtering in through his window casting oranges, reds, and pinks throughout the room. He plopped down onto his bed and began taking off his boots.

A knock sounded at his door.

"Enter."

Light, clicking steps and the whooshing sound on velvet on stone echoed in his room. He looked up and saw Guinevere standing in the middle of the room. The sunlight wrapped around her pale blue grown and around her skin making her look as if she was glowing.

Lancelot though that maybe she truly was an angel. "Hey." He breathed out and mentally scolded himself for sounding like an idiot. Guinevere gave him a small smile and Lancelot felt his chest tighten.

"Hey." Gwen's voice was just as quiet not wanting to break whatever was between them at this moment. She locked eyes with Lancelot and the smile began bigger. They stared at each other.

The sounds of clanking armor sounded outside the door and broke the silence in the room. Gwen visibly jumped and tried to remember why she was here.

"I wanted to, uh, congratulate you on your victories today." She fiddled nervously with the sleeve of her gown, which she still was not used to wearing. "It—you were quite impressive."

"Thank you Milady, your complaints are taken in high regard," He realized he was sitting down in a room while a lady, the queen, was standing. He jumped from the bed as if it was on fire. "I apologize; I never offered you a seat."

"It's alright Lancelot I spent the entire day sitting," _next to my husband, sitting next to my husband._ "I should really be going anyways. I just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow. Not that you'll need it or that I want Percival to get hurt. I don't! It's just I want you to win, but it'd be fine if Percival won too, just not as…good as you winning…" Gwen shuffled in her expensive gown in the center of the room.

Lancelot could not help but think how ridiculous this was, that a queen should be nervous around a knight. "I understand and thank you. I shall tell Percival that—"

His door flew open. "Sir Lancelot!" It was Agravaine. "Milady!" He quickly bowed, not expecting to see the queen in the knight's room, especially with Lancelot not wearing a shirt. Gwen turned to look back at Lancelot and noticed his lack of dress and what the guard must think.

"Oh! Oh no it's just…I just—"

Agravaine cut her off politely as he could. "It's fine Milady, but it's urgent the King sent me." Lancelot stood straighter fearing Camelot was in danger. "His royal servant, Merlin has collapsed again. The king wished me to inform you immediately."

Gwen gasped and Lancelot quickly left the room.

* * *

To say that Agravaine was happy would be an understatement.

It had been a very difficult past few months. When Morgana finally rebelled from underneath Uther's reign and broke all ties with the Pendragons, Agravaine had left his home and traveled to Camelot. He had made it to the castle a week later, but by that time, Morgana had been thrown off the throne and Arthur wore the crown. He had gone on a search for Morgana and found her, broken, poor, and living alone in a hut.

He walked into that hut and found her curled on a make shift bed. She was curled around herself, crying, and in tattered, bloody clothes. He had walked over and laid down next her and curled around her protectively. And as he held her, shaking in his arms, he made the decision that he would everything in his power to make sure she was never alone and broken like that again.

Mordred had contacted her a few days later and Agravaine went to offer his services to Arthur and to help bring down the Pendragon reign from the inside.

The missing courtier was just the first part.

And now he had the perfect weapon to use against Arthur.

Gwen and Lancelot.

* * *

It was too quiet. Arthur, since he could remember, was always surrounded with noise. There were never any moments expect when he was asleep when there wasn't someone talking to him or people running about. It was a busy castle. When he became older the silence was filled by his knights through the sounds of fighting, yelling, and training. And five years ago he was given a servant named Merlin and his every waking moment was filled with his voice. Merlin as always talking and when he wasn't talking he was making a racket falling and running into objects.

Arthur was sitting by his servant now.

It was completely silent.

Merlin was lying prone on his bed. His head was propped up on several pillows, a cold, wet cloth was on his forehead, and his chest slowly rose and fell. Arthur sat on a chair he had pulled up next to the bed. His hands were folded next to Merlin's right side.

'There's nothing more that I can do.'

Arthur replayed the words Gaius had said to him a few hours ago. He had heard the pain in Gaius's voice and Arthur knew how much it hurt to watch someone you loved suffer without being able to do anything.

'Have you ever seen this before?'

'No.'

Arthur ran a hand tiredly over his face.

Merlin grumbled something and shifted. Arthur watched as Merlin's face twisted in pain and then relaxed again. He took the rag off of his head, dipped it in the cooler water, and then placed it back on Merlin's head. He looked at his servant, his friend, lying on the bed and could not help but remember how he looked earlier.

He had just changed out of his ceremonial clothes he had to wear when in public for the jousting tournament and was making his way to the kitchens. Usually, the king would call for a maid or his personal servant to get him food, but Arthur was stuck sitting down all day and he just wanted to take the walk himself. He came to the second set of stairs and stopped.

There were clothes, his clothes, thrown about the stairs. His eyes landed on the bottom on the stairs and saw a body twisted on the floor. The body had messy black hair, a worn blue shirt, a neckerchief, and brown pants; there was a pool of red mixed in with the inky black hair. He ran down the stairs and dropped down beside his servant, calling for help.

Arthur jerked back to the present and his hand slid over to Merlin's.

* * *

A Few Hours Earlier

Merlin was not paying attention as he walked down the halls of Camelot. He had just gotten back from the tournament and his head was busy trying to decide what to do about Gwen and Lancelot. He could see it, the way Gwen looked at him, as if he were the center of the world. She loved him and it was only a matter of time. He wished he knew what to do about it though or even if he had the right to interfere.

So it was no surprise that Merlin had not seen Prince Boyle walking in his path. They collided and Merlin hit the ground hard, which jarred him from his thoughts and back into reality.

"Oh, I'm sorry." The strong voice of Prince Boyle sounded from above Merlin. He looked up to see a hand extended to him and he was pulled back onto his feet.

"Thanks." Merlin gave the Prince an awkward smile and the Prince nodded back.

"You serve King Arthur correct?"

"Yep, I serve the pr—" Merlin stopped himself. "The King, I've been his servant for five years now."

Prince Boyle's face changed at that statement, but Merlin could not place the look. "I request then that I see you in my chambers after dinner."

Merlin knew better to object. "Yes, Sire."

The Prince continued walking down the hallway and Merlin could not help but think what an odd conversation that was and that there was some subtle context that he missed. He shrugged and continued down the hallway and waved towards Percival, who was approaching him. The knight waved back but seemed to be in a hurry, so Merlin did not say anything.

Percival rounded the corner and Merlin took one step down the stairs before the visions hit.

* * *

"I think it's time we go Arthur." Gwen stated form her position in the chair next to Arthur's. Arthur's gaze stayed fixed on Merlin who was still unconscious or asleep, Arthur could not tell the difference the only thing that mattered was that Merlin was not present.

Gwen laid a light hand on Arthur's shoulder, her eyes were filled with unshed tears. "Arthur?" He turned his head slowly to meet hers. They reflected pain at each other. "It's late, you missed dinner, it's time to go."

"No." Arthur's voice was a register lower from not being used for a few hours. "I'm going to stay here."

Gwen applied more pressure on his shoulder in comfort. "I know he's your friend, he's my friend too, but you need to sleep you have a kingdom to run." Arthur shook his head and turned his attention back to the sleeping man.

"I know Gwen, but I can't—I can't just leave him. He, he wouldn't leave me." There was finality in his voice.

"Please Arthur, you're king." Her voice was more demanding.

"I'm not-!" Arthur stopped himself from yelling. "I'm not leaving him." Arthur continued to watch Merlin as Gwen watched Arthur. It was becoming a more common occurrence. She did not want to sleep in the bed alone, she wanted, needed to sleep next to her husband.

"Arthur—"

"Just go Gwen!" He snapped and there was an underlying frustration in his voice that was not attributed to the situation at hand. Gwen stood up and left the room, shutting the door quickly behind her.

Arthur reached over and grasped Merlin's hand.

"Please, please wake up Merlin." He looked down at their joined hands. "I—I can't watch you suffer like this. There are things that I need to talk to you about that I can't handle myself. You need to get better."

Merlin did not stir and Arthur did not let go of his hand.

* * *

Sir Leon and his company had reached the outlying village of Raknor early the next morning. The company had split up, each man talking a difference house until the entire town's people had been questioned. The question began like all the rest, with the people knowing nothing about a courtier or a group of at least five men on horseback.

"A company of men?" The man was a few inches shorter than Leon, with darker hair and light blue eyes. His wife stood by his side. "I saw something like that a few days ago, Sir."

Leon instantly perked up. "Do you see where they were headed or haw many there were?"

The man shook his head. "I only saw them in the forest, in the distance while I was getting wood. I couldn't make the number out but they were clearly headed south of here, into Essetir Sir."

Leon thanked the man, but was troubled. The next village the gourp would hit would be Elador, which was officially in Essetir, King Lot's kingdom. They would be trespassing into another King's lands in Camelot colors and if they were caught, it could be seen as an act of war.

Leon had order the men to go back and report to King Arthur that the men were heading towards Essetir. Leon stayed behind and began traveling to Elador hoping for more answers, leaving his cloak behind.

* * *

Two Days Later

Leon had arrived in Elador. The name of the village sounded familiar to him, but for the life of him he could not remember from where he had heard it. He packed up his small camp, saddled the horse, and traveled the hour he was away from Elador.

The first strange thing he noticed was the lack of animals. He had seen a bird, a squirrel, or a rabbit for the past two hours of his journey and it was sending of warning bells in his head. He had been a knight, what seemed like forever, which signs to take into account and animals were always a good source for signs. They sensed things he could not.

He slowed down his horse as he reached the top of hill, which would allow him to see over the village. The trees cleared and he saw clear, blue sky once more. Clear blue sky that was covered with smoke. He looked down at the village below to see the place set ablaze.

* * *

**The plot thickens...!**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**Review! Please!**


	5. Chapter 5: Death and All His Friends

**Hello Everyone!**

**Sorry it took a little longer to upload this chapter, but it's longer than the rest to make up for the extra wait.**

**I wanted to thank Darth Tater for being the only awesome person who reviewed (twice) :-)**

**And for this chapter I apologize for the lyrics used in the beginning, if you are a Supernatural fan it may cause a lot of feelings to surface. I'm not purposefully being a troll, it just happens. **

**Any way, I hope you enjoy the next installment of my story!**

**Lyrics in the beginning: Kansas, Carry on Wayward Son**

* * *

Chapter 5: Death and All His Friends

_Carry on my wayward son_

_There'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don't you cry no more_

* * *

"Merlin just eat the bloody soup." Arthur tried to sound frustrated but it was difficult keeping up a strong demeanor when he had just fussed about Merlin's lack of pillows on his bed and then proceeded to arrange him in the most comfortable position for the past few minutes. In his excuse, Merlin was injured. "Please."

Merlin, from his position propped up against what seemed like a few dozen pillows, shook his head. "I'm fine Arthur. You should eat it with me injured I doubt you've remembered to eat, you clotpole."

Arthur felt his lips twitch into a smile but tried to quell the desire to do so. "I'm trying to help you here and you insult me."

Merlin snorted. "Welcome to the club."

Arthur was not amused and the soup was quickly forgotten. "I don't insult you when you try to help me. I only insult you when you do something stupid, which is often."

"Oh, please." Merlin shifted so he was upright more. "I've saved your life hundreds of times and I'll get is insults and more work!"

"You have not saved my life hundreds of times Merlin and of course I give you more work, it's your job!"

"My job?" Merlin acted affronted. "My job is to saving your sorry ass, which I think is more important than cleaning your dirty socks."

Arthur leaned further off his chair and closer to Merlin. "I don't need someone saving my life. I can save myself!"

"You can't clean your own room!"

"That's because I have you to do it for me!"

"I've only been your servant for five years! You should have learned to dress and feed yourself before that. I did not cause your inefficiencies!"

"Don't use big words just to hide the fact that I'm right and you're wrong!"

"Your right! About what!"

"I don't know!"

They both were inches from each other's faces now, with breathes coming out in pants. They locked eyes, blue meeting blue, and burst out laughing.

"Well I'm glad you're feeling well enough to act like a fool Merlin." Gaius' voice cut through Merlin's and Arthur's near hysterical laughter. Arthur almost immediately stopped laughing and stood up from his chair. Merlin followed Arthur's movements as he wiped the tear from his eye.

Gaius reached Merlin's beside and began checking his patient. "Did a similar episode, like the one that happened a couple weeks ago, cause this Merlin?"

Lie. Lie. Lie. Merlin's mind chanted because he saw the look of fear in Arthur's eyes and he wanted it to not be there. Merlin just wanted to be happy for once. Uther was dead, Arthur was king, and Merlin was considered his almost equal and he wanted to enjoy that.

Merlin shook his head as Gaius gently prodded his ribs. "No, I tripped over my own foot and fell down the stairs." He was no longer surprised at how well he could lie. He saw relief physically radiate from Arthur's body and even Gaius let out a soft sigh. Merlin knew they would take the lie as a truth though, because that's what they wanted to believe.

"You consistency in lack of grace is commendable Merlin." Gaius joked and handed the injured young man a potion. Merlin took the bottle and thanked him.

"I like to stay consistent; Arthur doesn't cope well with change."

"Hey!" Arthur held out his arms. "I'm right here."

"Yes sire, you were here all night as well, so I suggest that you leave quickly before I get Sir Percival in here to physically carry you to your rooms." Gaius took Arthur by the arm and led him out of the room. Arthur quelled the urge to push his heels into the ground like a child.

"Oh and Merlin," Gaius called back before the door shut behind him. "You are to stay off your feet for the next three days." It was not a suggestion.

Merlin nodded and waited until the doors closed completely until he jumped out of bed. His left knee protested, as did his newly sore right side, but he ignored it and began rummaging through his draws. Objects of various sizes were thrown over his shoulder in his search.

"Ah ha!" He pulled out an old, worn journal. It had been given to him by Gaius a few years back and he had never had the need to use the thing until now. He opened up the first page, grabbed some ink, and sat down at his small dining table.

_If these visions are going to keep coming and I can't stop it from happening, then I'm at least going to write down what I see maybe they will actually hold some answers to the future._

* * *

"Did you have a reason for requesting my presence, Agravaine?" Lord Borin, a councilman from Urther's reign and head of the Curmudgeons, asked with annoyance lacing his voice. He sat on an ornate chair, next to the dining table in Agravaine's room.

Agravaine stood with his legs crossed leaning against his desk facing Lord Borin. "A very important reason I assure you Borin." He paused. "I have heard that you have some strong feelings towards our king."

Lord Borin shifted in his chair, knowing that the frame of the conversation was a heavy one. "I may have said a few words regarding his leadership skills."

"What about them?"

"They are terrible, uncouth, and weak."

Agravaine smirked. "You fear for Camelot?"

"That is the reason for my concern." Lord Borin stated and both men knew it was a complete and total lie. "I only wish to see Camelot returned to its former glory, which cannot be done with Arthur on the throne."

"Are there others that feel as you do?"

"Yes." He answered without hesitation. "There are not many, but there are enough and they are nobility."

Agravaine folded his arms across his chest. "Is there a certain person you had in mind, if Arthur was unable to rule?" He raised an eyebrow.

"The only person left to rule if Arthur was to be unable would be you, the last of the Pendragon line expect for Arthur died out with Morgana." _Oh, if you only knew Lord Borin_, Agravaine thought as he nodded along to Borin's statement. "But that's only if Arthur could no longer rule."

"Or if he stepped down." Agravaine through in and caused Borin to lean forward in his seat.

"Is there a reason why Arthur would no longer be able to hold the crown?"

"Yes."

* * *

It was a repeat of yesterday.

Gwen found herself walking down the hallway, knocking on Lancelot's door, and standing in the middle of the knight's room. She felt out of place and yet comfortable at the same time in the small room, well small compared to her room. She had worn a deep purple gown today, one that Lancelot had complimented her on when she wore it months ago. She still blushed when she thought about it.

Lancelot sat on his bed like he had yesterday, but this time he was fully clothed in fresh garments. His hair was still wet form his bath though and it hung, darker around his face. The sun was beginning its descent back down below the horizon, so it was still brightly lit outside.

"That was a fantastic match between you and Percival." Gwen smiled and Lancelot nodded his head at the compliment. "I wasn't sure who was going to win. I mean, I had full faith in you, but Percival is great." She stopped herself and Lancelot stood up from the bed, a decision made in his head, and took the two steps to stand in front of his queen.

He reached a hand down and grasped one of Gwen's, lightly. "Well I had something that Percival did not." His eyes locked with Gwen's and Gwen felt her chest tighten. He brought her hand up to his lips. "I had the support of a beautiful woman on my side."

Gwen could not stop the blush from rising on his face nor the hitch of her breath. His words flooded around her and she broke out into a large smile. To Lancelot, it seemed to rival the sun in brightness.

He lowered her hand from his face, but did not let go. They stood inches apart and both of their minds went blank. Gwen forgot about her duties, her husband, her kingdom, and everything became Lancelot. Lancelot forgot about his status as a knight, his commitment to Arthur, and his moral values and it all became Guinevere.

Nothing else mattered in the moment except the two of them.

They both leaned and did not pause as their lips met. It was instantaneous, the feeling of comfort, warmth, and love that spread between the two of them. Lancelot reached up his unoccupied hand and cupped Gwen's face as if it was made of glass, and pulled her closer to him. Gwen did not fight him, but allowed her body to mold into his as if she was meant to be there all along.

It was two halves meeting a whole. Gwen's hand found purchase on Lancelot's chest and she gripped his tunic as Lancelot's kisses began deeper and more urgent. She gasped for air as Lancelot moved his lips to her neck, kissing down the column.

Their hands were still clasped together.

Lancelot pulled away from her neck and smiled. Gwen smiled back, letting go of his tunic, and placing the hand on top of the one holding her face.

"Guinevere, you are—," Lancelot faltered on the words. "You are more beautiful than any women I have ever seen. You are truly a wonder, my queen."

Queen. She was queen, Queen of Camelot. She was married. She was married to the king, King of Camelot. She was married to Arthur. She loved Arthur. She had just kissed Lancelot, knight of the Round Table. She was in love with Lancelot. She was in love with Arthur. She was married to Arthur.

Gwen panicked. "I'm—I'm, sorry! Oh my, what I have I done? I can't, it's just that—." Gwen began backing away from Lancelot, her lips still tingling from their kisses. "I'm sorry." The last statement came out as a whisper and she ran from the room.

Lancelot stood in the middle of his room, his hand still raised from where he held Gwen's cheek.

* * *

There was a knock at his door and guessing from the insistency of it, they had been knocking for awhile. Merlin closed the journal he had been writing in and went to answer it hoping the person on other side had not been knocking for a long time.

He opened the door and was greeted with the face of Prince Boyle.

"Oh, hello…Sire." Merlin added on the title as an afterthought. The Prince smiled good naturedly though and motioned to come into the room. Merlin hastily stepped aside to let in the Prince, shutting the door behind him. The Prince scanned the room with a displeased eye and then turned back around to face Merlin who stood in front of the door.

Merlin realized his mistake. "Would like to sit down?" He rushed over to the small table and pulled out a chair. The wood was old and creaking and Merlin smiled sheepishly at the Prince. The Prince declined the seat with a wave of his hand, and Merlin pushed it back into the table.

There was a silence. "Is there a reason why you are here Milord, not to say that I don't uh, enjoy your company…" He trailed off and shifted from right foot to his left foot.

"I ordered you to my rooms last night." There was no accusation, just a statement of fact. Merlin thought it was an accusation.

"Oh! I didn't ignore it. I fell down some stairs and was laid up in here." Merlin gestured to the room. "I was unconscious for most of the day." The Prince raised an eyebrow and Merlin continued on. "Not that I'm making excuses! I should have sent someone to tell you that I was…unconscious." _That doesn't make any sense Merlin, you idiot. _"Which would have been impossible since I would not have been awake to tell anyone…" He stopped himself from rambling on further. "I'm surprised Arthur—King Arthur didn't tell you, he was here with me last night."

There was a look of understanding that crossed the Prince's face and Merlin felt relieved. "It is alright, no harm was done. I can see now why you were unable to attend to me." Merlin smiled at him awkwardly. "But that does not mean that I still do not require your services though."

Merlin nodded enthusiastically. "Anything you need." _Do not piss off the Prince any further!_

The Prince was in front of him in an instant. Merlin took a step back on instinct, but he was too slow and the Prince grabbed him by the arm and yanked. Merlin jerked into the Prince, his full body weight crushing into the Prince. The apology was on the tip of his tongue when lips met his.

Merlin's brain shut down. _I'm being kissed—assaulted by Prince Boyle…_

The lips became more demanding and Merlin placed a hand in between their bodies and tried pushing the Prince away. The Prince just grabbed his hand and used it to yank him closer. Then the hands began to wander and Merlin began shoving with his body to escape. The Prince just shoved back and Merlin was forced into the edge of the table behind him. He was shoved onto it, breaking the lip lock he had with the Prince.

"Prince—" The Prince leaned over him on the table and crushed his lips against his again. The hands moved to the ties that were on Merlin's two day old shirt and began pulling. The hem of Merlin's shirt was grabbed, tugged, and then pulled over his head.

"Listen I—" the lips went to his neck, where there was biting and licking and Merlin's eyes widened even further. He was not sure what he should do. He could physically try to pry the Prince off him, but he could end up harming the Prince which would lead to him being killed. He could use magic, but that was too risky. Did he even have the right to protest to this? Could he protest against it? _I'm a servant, he's a Prince. His word will always be taken over mine. There's nothing I can do_.

That thought added to the panic in Merlin's mind.

A hand moved to his pants and Merlin reacted on instinct by trying to throw the Prince off of him. _No, no this is not happening, this is not happening…_

The sound of a door slamming shut broke through Merlin's inner mantra. It was soon accompanied by a voice. "What do you think you're doing?" It was the voice of Arthur. Merlin was relieved. The Prince stopped his assault on the servant and looked over towards the king who stood startled and angry in the room. The Prince climbed off of Merlin for the sake of decency in front of the king, which allowed Merlin to sit up on the table.

Merlin realized he was shirtless. He saw the look of disgust in Arthur's eyes and could not help the wave of shame and embarrassment that washed over him. He was still out of breath, reddening, had bruises on his neck, and could not look at Arthur in the face.

"Someone explain to me what exactly is happening here." Arthur's voice was deadly calm. Merlin had only heard that tone once before and it was Morgana had been, supposedly captured. It was the tone of voice used when Arthur went past anger.

Arthur stood stiff in the room. His right kept clenching and unclenching at his side as if wanting to reach for his sword. His eyes were a cold, blue fire and where set on Prince Boyle. He refused to look over at Merlin, because he feared he would snap if actually got a solid look at his ruffled servant.

Prince Boyle answered with an unwavering voice. "I was just using your servant Milord; I did not think there would be an issue."

Arthur look affronted. "An issue? With, with violating my servant!" He took a step closer to the Prince and stopped. The Prince did not seem to notice the deadly thoughts running through Arthur's head.

Merlin looked up at Arthur surprised, _he's defending me._ And Merlin let a smile grace his lips, _of course he is, he wouldn't be Arthur if he wasn't._

"I was not informed that he was off limits to others beside yourself." The Prince seemed genuinely surprised and sorry, but Merlin was focusing beyond that. The Prince did not even question if Merlin was alright with his advancements, almost as if he thought Merlin was used to it or it was expected of him. _Oh…_ Merlin reached the same conclusion Arthur did.

Arthur understood the miscommunication immediately. "No." His face reddened. "Merlin, is my servant and servant only. He does not, uh cater to me like that," Arthur stated. There was a twisting in Arthur's stomach that had nothing to do with his anger at the Prince and it became harder to ignore. "Nor does he cater to any others!" That point was made with more force.

The Prince nodded. "Then I apologize for the confusion." He nodded to Arthur, ignored Merlin, and left the room. The door shut behind him and it echoed loudly in the silent room.

Merlin stayed sitting on the table, shirtless, and embarrassed; his face was cast downwards at the table beneath him. There were darkening spots on the wood and Merlin realized he was crying. He did not move to wipe them away. There was a hand placed gently on his shoulder. The hand was warm against his cold skin. He looked up to meet blue eyes.

"Merlin." Arthur's voice was strained as he held in the anger that crawled up in his stomach like a beast. He had wanted to throw the Prince across the room for laying a hand on Merlin, but he had quelled it enough to let the man leave the room in one piece. The beast had come roaring back though once his eyes met Merlin's and Arthur realized Merlin was crying. "Merlin I—"

Merlin had leaned over and reached his arms around Arthur, placing his head in the king's chest, without making a sound. Arthur was surprised, but the least he could do at this point is offer comfort so he placed most of his weight on the table and shifted Merlin into his arms at a better angle.

There was complete silence in the room, but Merlin's own thoughts were loud in his head.

_If the Prince thought that the king and I had a relationship like that, then how many others do? _ The Prince had only been in the castle for a few days and probably immediately spotted Merlin and his interactions with Arthur. If it had only taken him a few days, then what do the other noblemen think? Is that why his presence was tolerated at the Round Table, because they all thought he was catering to the king? Is that what they think he has become; a whore to a king?

Do the knights think that? Does Gwen?

* * *

"Agravaine has informed me that he has the men in place and the courtier leaves two days from now to go to the Kingdom of Lauith." Morgana said as she walked into the small house that sat towards the end of the small village of Tatith. The village was at the border of Camelot and Lauith, but it was technically under King Richardson's rule, which is why Mordred had chosen this village to escape to.

He had been living there ever since his druid camp had been destroyed and the villagers, seeing him as a child, welcomed him and let him take the empty house as long as he worked. He had built up his powers enough now so the villagers thought he worked every day, when in fact, he stayed in his house or walked around the town, listening to rumors. Rumors were perfect for hearing news on Camelot and it's why Mordred had stayed in the village for so long.

'_He has chosen trust worthy men? Are they capable of being discrete? It will not be easy kidnapping a courtier from Camelot land.'_

Morgana sat down her bed, across from where Mordred sat, looking out a tiny window. "Yes, he assures me the men are well trained and that he spent a significant sum to hire them."

Mordred nodded. _'Let us hope, my kin, that he is right. This must be done correctly, it is essential to our plans.'_

"I understand." Morgana shifted on the bed. "How are you planning on dealing with Emrys?" She spat the name and the face of Merlin came to her mind. She cringed feeling that sharp sense of betrayal like when she discovered she was Uther's daughter.

Mordred turned his ice blue eyes to Morgana. '_Do not worry Morgana, I have the perfect idea in mind and it will not require us to leave this house.'_

"What do you plan on attacking him with? You told me yourself that he was more powerful than both of us." That thought still caused Morgana to get a chill up her spine.

'_I will use the greatest weapon of all, himself. There is no weapon built by man nor magic that can destroy someone so completely and so efficiently than one's own mind.'_

* * *

Arthur stood outside on Camelot's steps. He was there, in full ceremonial garb, to see off Prince Boyle of Hanom. The treaty had been revised during his few days stay and the new treaty had been signed last night. Arthur had walked into the Prince's room, signed the treaty, and walked out without uttering a word.

And so was the day when the Prince would head back to the far kingdom of Hanom with the treaty.

Arthur watched the Prince mounted his horse and his mind drifted back to the night before. He had only gone to Merlin's room to see if he had eaten yet, Gwen had already eaten and Arthur wanted company for dinner. He did not bother knocking on the door since Merlin never did, so he just walked in.

He had not even noticed the Prince was there, until he shut the door and his eyes landed on the table. At first, the image did not register in his brain. He watched frozen as the Prince, straddled on top of Merlin, ran his hands down his shirtless servant and as he laid harsh kisses on his neck.

And then the reality of the situation hit him full force like a punch to the gut that sent him reeling. There was anger, it was white hot, there was possession, his mind screaming _mine!_, and there was guilt, it came in a wave as his mind echoed _you should have known, you should have stopped this before it happened._

That's when Arthur finally found words to stop the situation. After the Prince had left, regrettably with his life, Arthur was finally given the chance to look at Merlin. Merlin who was shirtless, had love bites on his neck, and Arthur realized was crying. He looked small, sitting huddled on the table. Arthur did not hesitate to walk over and give him any sort of comfort he needed.

So when Merlin buried his face into his shoulder, his arms automatically moved around the smaller body. And was content to never let go.

He jerked back to the present as the Prince looked over at him from atop his horse.

They made eye contact and Arthur gave an incline of his head towards the Prince, the Prince copied the movement and then he turned his horse and trotted away. The rest of the Prince's men followed behind him.

Arthur was in the processes of walking back up the steps when the sound of clattering horse's hooves on stone echoed through the courtyard. He turned to see a group of his men riding into the inner courtyard. It was the last of the parties to return that he had sent out to look for the missing courtier.

He walked back down the steps to hear the news from his men. He noticed immediately that Sir Leon was not among them. "You are the last to return, hopefully with news."

The man who reached him first, dropped down from his horse, and bowed to Arthur before answering. "We come barring news. A company of men were seen riding through the forest around the village of Raknor. They were headed in the direction of the Kingdom Essetir, milord."

Arthur looked troubled. "Essetir? King Lot is involved with this?" The soldier nodded. "Where is Sir Leon wasn't he assigned to your company?"

The soldier nodded. "Yes milord. He stayed behind to question the next closest village of Elador. He wanted to know if the villagers had seen anything and if they could tell us, in a more exact direction, where the company was headed."

Arthur nodded and dismissed the man. He bowed and began leading the horses to the stables with the rest of the soldiers. Arthur watched as they left the courtyard, his mind jumbled with the news and a new set of worries. He walked slowly back up the steps into the castle.

* * *

Leon had rushed down to the burning village.

He reached the bottom of the hill and his field of vision was covered with smoke. He placed his hand over his mouth and tried breathing in as least as possible. He jogged down the middle of the village looking for survivors. He found bodies instead. They were burned beyond the point of being recognized as human, some were adults but most were children.

There were no sounds expect those of cracking fire and collapsing wood.

There was a cough to his right. Leon turned and made out the faint outline of a body. He jogged quickly over, hoping over a front gate, and into the front garden of a home. The body was a man who was in his last years. Leon thought it was a miracle the man had survived until now.

He reached down and picked up the man in his arms. He picked a direction and started to jog. The smoke began fading away as he reached the end of the village. He took in a lung full of clean air and gently placed the man on the grass below.

"Sir, can you hear me?" Leon placed a hand and felt a heart beat on the man's neck.

The old man coughed and blinked open his eyes. "I'm Leon, a knight of Camelot can you tell me who you are?"

"I—" he hacked. "Name's Fendral."

Leon nodded encouragingly. "Fendral can you tell me what happened?"

The old man's eyes darkened. "We never saw it coming. She was nice and kind and had been part of this village for years. Everyone loved her and she worked hard." The man took in wheezing breath and continued. "She started saying things though, strange things and we though she was sick, but in the head not the body. She would stay hold up in her house for days, yelling and talking but she lived alone. We were afraid, we didn't know what to do and things like this, they are incurable."

Leon motioned for the man to continue.

"And then one day she became real quiet like; wouldn't talk to no one and we thought that since she was so good to us that we would let her be. And then I saw her—" The old man faltered, and his voice broke. "I was leaving the house, wanted to get some berries by the stream, when I saw her walking along the backside of houses with a torch. She had already lit up half of the village by the time I noticed and I froze. And then, like magic, the flames just engulfed the houses. The fire was everywhere at once!"

The man locked eyes with Leon. "I can still hear the children screaming."

Leon grasped the old man's arm in support. "What happened to the woman?"

"After she set the fires, she dropped the torch on her own house and then walked inside and never came out." The old man was holding back tears for the sake of not looking weak in front of the knight.

"What was her name?" Leon wondered if she was magic or not. The way the old man had described the fire, it did not seem like magic, it was magic. And if she could control magic like that, then maybe she somehow escaped her burning home, but that would have to wait until the fires died down so he could check the house.

The old man coughed. "Her name was Hunith."

And that's when Leon remembered where he had heard of the village, Elador, before.

* * *

**I hope I'm not hated for that ending...**

**Besides the overall sadness of the chapter I hope that you enjoyed non-the-less**

**Review and I will love you forever!**


	6. Chapter 6: Sins of the Son

**Back Again! With a new chapter!**

**Thank you to all the lovely people have reviewed and/or Favorited this story, you make make feel loved. :-)**

**This chapter was kinda difficult to write, with Merlin's reaction to his mother's death. I hope it's fairly realistic, I never lost a close parent figure, so I'm going off of my character analysis of Merlin as person alone.**

**Anyways, there is also a plot development between King Lot and King Richardson, which I mentioned a couple chapters back.**

**Side note:**

**I am not claiming to know the history nor the geography around Camelot, so anything I say is what I'm making up; I am not claiming that it is anyway accurate. The only Arthurian story I have read is the Mists of Avalon and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.**

**Information (just cause) :**

**King Richardson (my own character) and Duke Bale (my own character) are both from the kingdom of Lauith (which I created) and it lies border with Essetir and to the south of Camelot, in case that was confusing. **

**Enough of my rambling! Enjoy the chapter yo!**

**Lyrics at the beginning: My Chemical Romance, Sleep**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own it, but maybe one day...**

* * *

Chapter 6: Sins of the Son

_The hardest part's the awful things that I've seen_

_Sometimes I see flames_

_And sometimes I see people that I love dying_

_And it's always_

_Sometimes I see flames_

_And sometimes I see people that I love dying_

_And it's always_

* * *

"King Richardson, it is nice to see a friendly face." King Lot of Essetir, greeted the other king like an old friend. He stood up from his throne and gave the other king a hand clap on the shoulder. "You are looking well, but troubled." He motioned to the dining table off to the left side of the room. "Sit, you must be tired. We shall get some food in you and then you can tell me why you have come to my kingdom."

Richardson gave Lot a tired smile. "Thank you, you are most kind. I fear though I do not come with good news." He said as he was led over to the table where servants were bustling trying to get food on the table as fast as they could.

King Lot waved a hand at Richardson's statement. "Do not worry about that yet, eat and then we will talk about the happenings in the world."

An Hour Later

"So, what is this news you bring me?"

Richardson, took a sip of wine from his goblet. "It has to do with Camelot." King Lot's face darkened with the mention of the kingdom and he gripped his goblet a little tighter than normal. "They, King Arthur, has cut off all trading ties with us and refuses us passage through his lands."

King Lot did not look surprised. "Did you expect any less from a Pendragon?" The name was laced in hatred.

"Well, it's just, it was so sudden. I had no forewarning and—" Richardson struggled for words until he sat up straighten in his chair. "I will not be bullied by that boy or by his kingdom. I have every right to use the trading routes through Camelot. I am a king as much as Arthur is."

King Lot nodded. "Yes, I fear those Pendragons always believed themselves to be better than the rest." He leaned into the table. "Why have you come to me though?"

Richardson, went to take another sip of wine and decided against the action. "It is not just my pride that has been wounded by this, it is my people as well. We are coming up on winter and my kingdom relies on those trading routes to survive. We do not have the time nor the resources to go around Camelot and my lands are all up useless during the winter." He banged his hand upon the table. "My people will starve!"

Richardson looked to King Lot who gave him a sympathetic look. "So this is no longer a matter of diplomacy, but a matter of survival." Richardson nodded wearily. "Have you wondered if this is the reason why King Arthur has cut off you trade, to weaken your kingdom?"

Richardson gave Lot his full attention. "Your lands are gate way between the inner lands and the ocean, a central hub for water trade and Camelot, being the most inner kingdom, has no way of reaching that trade without going through your kingdom. Would it not be easier for Camelot if your kingdom was too weak to survive?" He sat on the edge of his seat now. "And then all they had to do is march a relatively small army and conquer your lands."

King Lot leaned back in his chair. "This is how the Pendragons think Richardson. This is what they are after and what they are willing to do to accomplish it."

"This—this cannot happen."

Lot smirked. "Which is why you have come to me is it not?"

* * *

Merlin was the first to arrive in the council room. The meeting had called a few minutes before and Merlin, not wanting to do his other duties, came straight to the room to wait for the other members to show. It was still strange to him, sitting in Arthur's old room, a room he knew better than his own, which was now being used as a king's council room.

He closed his eyes, enjoying the silence, and began trying to sort through the visions he had been having the past two weeks. He tried to remember all of them when he wrote them down a couple days ago, but it was hard since they were scattered and seem to come at him all at once and not in a continual flow. There was one vision that stayed fresh in his mind: the burning village. It seemed important, more important than the others and he knew that the place was familiar and yet be could not place it.

So he moved past the vision of the burning village to focus on another question that has been plaguing his mind.

_Why have these visions started?_

Merlin tried to convince himself that the visions were just another part of his powers, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that it was something foreign causing him to have these visions. He knew that it was not natural.

It was driving him insane. All he could think about were the visions and the feelings of panic and dread that accompanied them. He was in constant fear of them taking over his mind at any moment. They were unpredictable and it was frightening, having his own mind act as his enemy.

It was the moments right after the visions ended that were the worst. The way he breathed in, but no air would reach his lungs or the way everything that familiar seemed foreign. Every time he awoke, he feared that he would be stuck in that state, between the reality and the future with his heart hammering in his chest and his lungs gasping for air.

He feared others would find out too. He had been good at keeping away from Gaius, because if anyone could see through his lies, it was Gaius. The man was like a father to him and it hurt more than he could stand to avoid him, but it had to be done. It was only cause worry. Merlin knew that this was something that could not be fixed or cured through a potion. He feared the most that Arthur would find out though. That another vision would hit him and Arthur would be there to see him fall. He could not stand to see the fear and guilt in Arthur's eyes again.

And it would lead to too many questions and too many lies.

The door to the council room opened causing Merlin to escape from his mind and open his eyes to the present. It was Agravaine who walked through the door. They both looked at each other, neither giving the other a greeting nor a friendly look.

Agravaine sat down in his customary seat, next to the in between the Gwen's and Lord Borin, the eldest council member. The silence was no longer enjoyable, but filled with tension; both men knowing secrets about the other, but unable to say anything without comprising their positions in Camelot.

It was unnerving for both, knowing the true nature of the false man sitting at the same table.

And that's when Merlin realized that he wasn't as different from Agravaine as he originally believed. His hand clenched around the edge of the table and the door opened a second time.

Gwaine, Percival, and Elyan walked in followed closely by Lord Cael and Lord Deverick, completing the noble men council group. Merlin watched the knights enter the room and studied them more than usual. He wondered if they saw him as the Prince did, as a bed warmer for a king.

The knights sat down and Gwaine, like always broke the silence.

"So, Merlin heard you had a tumble down the stairs." He grinned widely at the warlock who in turn gave a half hearted glare back to the knight. "At least flat ground isn't giving you trouble anymore." Elyan chuckled and Percival snorted in a disbelieving way. Merlin expected nothing less from Gwaine; he always used humor to convey other feelings that he was not comfortable enough to voice. But what Merlin did not know is that Gwaine had sat by his bedside for a good few hours when he was unconscious, completely silent.

"Ha ha Gwaine." Merlin leaned in and in a fake whisper voice stated, "at least I wasn't attacked by the head cook for stealing food."

Elyan guffawed. "You didn't tell us that! Did she beat you with the spatula or the giant spoon this time?"

"I bet it was the spoon judging by Gwaine's new found fear of the kitchens." Merlin stated with a wink towards Elyan. Gwaine grumbled something under his breath and sunk down in his chair. His eyes were darting around the room though, as if he expecting the mad cook to come and attack at any moment.

Agravaine and the other councilmen ignored the conversation going on across the table and remained silent. Lord Cael was sitting back in his chair reading a book on the history of Camelot completely absorbed in the book and Borin was silently communicating to Agravaine. Deverick was about to speak up, probably to belittle the people he saw as commoners in the room, when the doors opened again.

Arthur, Gwen, and Lancelot walked into the room.

Gwen and Lancelot were walking farther apart from each other than normal and that only made Merlin more suspicious of them than he was before.

They took their seats.

Arthur, like always, became the council. "I have grave news."

Merlin could not help the snort that came out of his mouth. Arthur glanced at him, Merlin shrugged. "When have you ever called a council meeting with good news," Merlin added as an afterthought, "Sire."

"I think you have been spending far too much time with Gwaine, Merlin." Arthur sounded annoyed but there was smile playing at the edges of his lips, which caused Merlin send him a wide grin back. The council members did not miss this exchange.

Arthur cleared his throat, realizing he was now staring at Merlin, and looked towards the other council members. "As I stated before, I have grave news regarding the missing courtier." He paused. "It seems it is part of a larger problem and possibly, a threat."

"Excuse me sire," Lord Cael had placed down his book on the table at this point and addressed Arthur. "But where is Sir Leon, should we not wait for him before continuing this meeting?"

"Leon has not arrived back in Camelot and this news is important and I cannot wait for him to return." Arthur stated to the lord and Cael nodded and leaned back in his chair. "As I was saying, the last of the patrols that went to search for the courtier returned yesterday. They went to the village of Raknor and spoke to the people there who saw a company of men on horses riding through their forest. They were headed in the direction of Essetir."

That caused the light humor in the room to evaporate.

Lord Borin was the first to speak up. "How accurate is this sighting. We can't assume—"

Merlin stopped listening to Borin, his attention and focus went to Agravaine. He watched as Agravaine's face changed from casual and attentive to angered and fearful. _So is this part of his plans, did he know about the courtier? Did he plant the courtier or did he plan the kidnapping? And why does he look afraid?_

Arthur's voice cut through his thoughts. "I have full confidence in Leon and the men he led. A group of men, matching the description of those that most likely kidnapped a man from our own land, were seen riding towards Essetir." He gave a hard look at Borin. "We need to stop questioning the source and decide what course of action we should take."

Lancelot began to speak. "We should also focus on why someone from Essetir would want to take one of our courtiers."

There were too many questions that needed to be answered.

"Well," Elyan spook up. "The courtier was originally delivering a letter to Duke Bale in Lauith. Maybe someone in Essetir did not want the letter to reach its destination. It's about the courtier, personally, just what he was carrying."

That's when Merlin remembered one of his visions. It was the one that involved him begin attacked by a man with a shield. A shield that had a large oak tree painted on its front. It was the marking of the Kingdom of Lauith. Somehow men bearing the Lauith symbol come to Camelot in the future, but do they come for Camelot or just for himself?

"You think that Lauith is involved as well?" Arthur questioned Elyan.

"It would be the only reason that I can see, to kidnap the courtier." Elyan stated and Gwaine nodded in agreement. "It's the only motivation that makes sense. We have to remember; whoever did this went to great lengths to accomplish it."

"Surly a plan involving two influential kingdoms is cause enough." Percival spoke up for the first time in the meeting.

"Cause for what though?" Merlin asked to the group and to himself.

Arthur leaned back in chair, thoughts racing as Gwen voiced her own question. "Has anyone here heard of this Duke Bale?" She looked towards the elder councilmen. Lord Cael spoke up.

"I have heard rumors Milady of Duke Bale." The rest of the table was focused on him now. "Many refer to him as just The Duke, which shows his influence in the matters of nobility. He is rumored to single handily control the Kingdom of Lauith, even so far as placing the current king, Richardson, on the throne."

"So, basically, this Duke Bale is the king of Lauith and Richardson is just his puppet." Gwaine stated and Cael nodded at his assessment. Arthur looked towards Gwaine, "which means that the letter was, essentially, intended for the actual king of Lauith."

That caused another round of hushed silence to fall over the group.

"A letter intended for Lauith was intercepted from Camelot by men who then returned to Essetir to…" Merlin summed up the facts and left the reasoning for them open ended. No one spoke up to answer.

"Maybe they aren't connected." Agravaine suggested and Merlin forced himself not to send a glare the man's way. He continued to look forward and not at the traitor as the man spoke. "They could just be random events." Agravaine knew the argument was weak, but he was running out of options. His only hope was quickly becoming his scheme with Borin involving Gwen and Lancelot. Mordred was not going to be pleased.

"We should contact King Lot." Lancelot stopped Agravaine from speaking further. "We may not be on friendly relations with his kingdom, but at least we can send a letter asking if he had heard of a company of men moving through his kingdom."

"And if he does not reply?" Lord Cael asked.

Lancelot answered looking to Arthur. "Then we can assume King Lot, himself, is involved."

A knock interrupted what Arthur was going to say. He called for whoever was at the door to come in. The door opened and Margret, Gaius' apprentice walked in. Her movements were hurried.

"Gaius has asked me to inform you that Sir Leon has arrived." The knights, Merlin, and Arthur immediately became worried.

Arthur spoke first thought. "Is there a reason why he went to Gaius? Is he injured?"

Margret realized her mistake and turned red with embarrassment. "Oh no, sire; I'm sorry to mislead you. He has come with an injured man and he says he has news regarding a courtier?" She hoped she got that piece of information right. "And that he wishes to speak to Merlin concerning a personal matter as soon as possible."

She bowed and left the room.

Merlin looked to Arthur asking silently if he should go see Leon first or if Arthur wanted to speak to him first. Arthur waved him to leave the council room. Merlin nodded and left the room and Arthur continued the meeting with the chair on his right hand side empty.

* * *

Dead.

Followed by words like 'I'm sorry' and 'I was too late'.

Dead. Gone. Over.

'I'm sorry.'

_For what?_

She was dead.

And the first thought that came to Merlin's mind was: _I can bring her back._ It was a traitorous thought because he knew the consequences of disrupting the balance, but did stop him from seriously considering that course of action. That is, until he remembered the ordeal with the cup of life and the thought quickly vanished.

The thought was replaced with grief because there was nothing he could do. No magic, no spell no matter how powerful could ever let him see his mother's face again. His chest tightened and he curled into himself. He had magic, he was a warlock supposedly one of the most powerful ever born, and he could not bring a person he loves back to life.

His mother was dead…

_..I haven't seen her in years_.

That hurt too. The guilt, that when Leon told him Hunith was dead and there was second when he wondered who Hunith was. His life had become about Camelot and Arthur and Albion and a better future. He had been struggling for so long to bring about a future that he had forgotten about his past. It was all about what would be instead of what was. He had forgotten that he was Merlin from Elador and he now only knew himself as Merlin, royal servant and warlock to King Arthur. And it was about Arthur too. Everything he did, every action he took, every lie he told, every person he killed, and everyone he forgot about was all in the name of Arthur. Somewhere in the past few years, it had become less about Albion and more about Arthur. He couldn't even lie to himself and say that he had forgotten about Elador for the sake of bringing peace to Camelot, because it wasn't.

It was about Arthur. He did not need Albion or the future if it did not involve Arthur. The tentative friendship he had in the beginning with the prince and transformed into a love and devotion for a king. He couldn't even place the exact time when the change occurred, from destiny to love.

And that love and that devotion had blinded to what he used to be and the people he used to know and now his mother was dead and unlike when Arthur was dying, Merlin knew that he could survive without her.

Survival was not the same as acceptance though.

Which is why Merlin sat, huddled, on the tallest surface in Camelot's castle, listening to the slight breeze and the sound of birds as they flew over head. And as he sat he replayed all the memories he had forgotten about; the memories involving his mother, Hunith, who used to be the only person he truly cared about from a time when he was just Merlin from a small village called Elador that rested on the outskirts of Essetir.

* * *

"Leon, you wanted to see me." Arthur stated walking into Gaius's room/laboratory. Gaius looked up from his position over a book and gave the king a nod. Arthur noticed Gaius's apprentice, Margret, bustling around the room; she seemed confused on how to greet him. Leon sat in a chair that was pulled up next to an old man with severe burns covering his body.

Leon looked up from the old man to Arthur. He seemed extremely worried as if burdened with knowledge that he never wanted to have, but despite this look Arthur felt relieved. Leon had always been an anchor in a storm for Arthur. The man had been a knight, which seemed like forever, and he was always someone Arthur could trust. And with times like they were now, Arthur needed someone he could talk to that he knew would tell him the truth.

"I tracked the company of men to a village in Essetir called Elador." Leon paused and looked back at the injured old man. "I believe you are familiar with the village."

Arthur nodded. "I went there a few years ago to help them against a tyrant." He added as an afterthought. "Merlin's from there." He saw Leon flinch slightly at the mention of Merlin and Arthur wanted to know why.

Leon continued not to look at him, so Arthur pulled up a chair next to his knight and sat down. "I went to the village to see if I could get a better sense of where the company was headed besides the general direction of Essetir." Leon paused and ran a hand over his face. "But when I arrived at the village I—"

"This is what I found." He motioned to the dying man and Arthur became confused.

"You found this man?"

"His name's Fendral and yes I found this man," He sucked in a breath, "and only this man."

Arthur leaned forward to catch Leon's eye and then forced him to look at him in the face. "And what of the rest of the village?"

"Dead." Leon quickly looked away from the king as he felt his voice break with emotion and everything became blurry. "I told him I was sorry." It sounded broken. "There were flames every-everywhere. I checked the houses to see, if someone—anyone was still alive." Leon shook his head. "All I found were bodies."

Arthur was struggling to find an emotion or a reaction that would be appropriate for this scenario. All he managed to do was look around the room, lost. "I—I don't." He stopped and tried to compose his thoughts. "Was Hunith—" _God, I can't even ask the question._ "Is she, did she?"

"No." It was simple, concrete, and absolute.

Arthur could picture her, Hunith. He could remember her smile when she saw Merlin for the first time in ages and even though she came because her village was on the brink of starvation, her face still lit up when she saw her son. And Arthur briefly wondered if his mother would have looked at him the same way.

Then Arthur remembered Merlin leaving the meeting early. "You told him." Leon did not even both to give an answer to the question, which was more of a statement. Arthur knew that his place was not here, not with Leon, not with the old man, but with Merlin. He needed to see Merlin.

He stood up, but a hand on his arm stopped his movements. Leon was holding him back. "There's something else…" Leon trailed off. He saw the look in Arthur's eyes, the determination to see Merlin and Leon let go of his arm. "Just come see me when you can. It's important." _You need to know the reason why Elador no longer stands._

Arthur nodded and quickly left the room. Leon knew exactly where he was going and Gaius and Margret had the decency to not ask as the king left the room. All that followed his departure was Margret, awkwardly half bowing as the door shut loudly behind him.

* * *

"Merlin." Gaius came upon the young man huddled on top of one of the balconies in Camelot's citadel. His face was turned to watch the forest below him, outside the Castle walls. He turned when he heard Gaius call his name, his face was empty of emotion and Gaius felt something in him break.

He walked over and sat down next Merlin, his back leaning against the stone work behind him. "Leon told me, after you left, about Elador." Gaius did not know what to say after that. He reached over and placed a comforting hand upon Merlin's arm.

"I had met your mother many years ago, when Uther was first made king." Gaius' voice drifted away as his mind wandered back in time. "She was vibrant, happy, and always seemed to be smiling. I don't think I ever saw her without a smile on her face. I think it's because she appreciated the little things in life." Gaius smiled as if he could see her in front of him. "She would visit me often for potions and other things and she quickly became a friend. That's how it was like with everyone she met. You inherited that from her."

Merlin turned look at Gaius and a flicker of emotion passed through his dulled blue eyes.

"I remember when she first met your father, Balinor." Gaius gave a pained chuckle. "She they hated each other. I think he was the one person in the entire kingdom that Hunith disliked and he was the one person who she saw most often. The fights they would have were legendary." Merlin gave Gaius a weak twitch of the lips. "I would always have to get in between the two of them; almost cost me my life several times."

"What—" Merlin's voice cracked. "What would they fight about?" his voice was quite. Gaius rubbed his free hand under his chin in thought.

"Oh, the simplest things: Hunith would complain that Balinor was being too rude to someone, actually that was a reoccurring argument between the two. Balinor wasn't a very social man and most of his words seemed to be cold, but I just think he wasn't good at talking to people; understood dragons better."

"And then, at some point down the road their relationship changed. It seemed instantaneous, but looking back I could see the progression. Hunith would stop critiquing Balinor and instead she would help him, teach him how to speak to people. And Balinor, well, he began opening up to her, telling her about his life. They transformed each other in a way and then you would never find them apart, it was like they were physically attached to each other."

Merlin shifted his watery gaze to the stone beneath him. "Why are you telling me this?"

Gaius gave Merlin a reassuring grip on his arm. "So you can understand Merlin; understand that she lived a full life, she was happy. Her death is sudden, yes, and it hurts, but do not think that she had not live. Remember that she lived and then she will never truly die."

Merlin smiled weakly still staring at the stone beneath him.

* * *

There was a vigil that night.

Most of the people of Camelot showed in the up in the courtyard with candles lit. Elador may have been a village in Essetir, but many people in Camelot had ties to the people who lived there; many considered part of Camelot. The lights from the candles lit up the courtyard in a comforting glow.

And is wasn't just the people who stood in the vigil but the royal court stood there as well. Mixed amongst the crowd were the knights: Percival, Elyan, Gwaine, Lancelot, and Leon who stood for Merlin's loss. Gwen was there too, standing with Gaius towards the edge of the crowd.

King Arthur and Merlin were not present in the crowd.

They sat on the highest point in the castle, looking down at the vigil below. Arthur watched Merlin, his face lit up by the candles below, casting his face in shadow and in light. He could see the tracks of tears that rolled continually down his face and couldn't but think that it was becoming a familiar sight.

These past few days had been difficult and it seemed like it was just beginning. That all these instances were building up to something much worse, but Arthur did not know what. There was one thing that these past few days have taught him: that he would give anything, his title, his kingdom, his life to never see Merlin like he was now. So Arthur reached an arm around Merlin's shoulder and turned his attention back to the vigil below, gripping his servant tighter than was appropriate.

Merlin did not comment on it though, just leaned into Arthur more.

And the candles twinkled all through the night, mimicking the stars above.

* * *

**Sorry about the long council meeting, but it was important to the plot and I tried to make as entertaining as possible.**

**And yes, I did parallel Hunith and Balinor's relationship with that of Merlin and Arthur, if you caught that :-)**

**Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to push that big blue button and the bottom of the screen. I know you see it...**


	7. Chapter 7: The High Road

**I'm back!**

**Here's a new chapter for y'all. There's some angst(okay a lot of angst) involving multiple characters. There's some Merlin and Arthur fluff mixed with with some Gwen and Lancelot lovin. There's also a lot of Leon, because you know he knows everything that's going on with knights.**

**And of course, there's some Morgana and Modred and their plotting ways (maybe some fluff between them to...)**

**I don't think I have anymore to say besides: A Thanks to all those who have reviewed. There's over a 1000 hits on this story, so thank you all!**

**Disclaimer: I'm paying for college, I do not have enough money to own Merlin.**

**Lyrics in the beginning: Mumford and Sons, White Blank Page**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 7: The High Road

_Can you lie next to her and give her your heart, your heart_

_As well as your body_

_And can you lie next to her and confess your love, your love_

_As well as your folly_

_And can you kneel before the king_

_And say I'm clean, I'm clean_

_But tell me now, where was my fault_

_In loving you with my whole heart_

* * *

Gwen stood in her room, staring down at the large bed in front of her. Her eyes roamed over the red sheets with golden embroidery displaying Camelot colors and the way they laid perfectly over the mattress. Her eyes roamed to the pillows, large, in great numbers, and arranged in a perfect pattern above the bed. She took in the size of the bed.

It was made for two: a King and a Queen.

It was perfect and it physically hurt her to look at it.

She had kissed Lancelot. She had cheated, not completely but close enough, on Arthur. Her husband who she had to sleep next to each night in the perfect bed and each night it felt she was lying to his face; as she crawled into the bed and pretended that that's where she wanted to be.

It was ever worse when he did not show up to bed. The nights, which were becoming frequent in the last few weeks, where he was too busy to come to bed and she would be stuck having to sleep in the perfect bed alone. It almost worse like that because it would leave her alone, in a bed fit for two. It was almost fitting; she had feeling that this is how she would end up, alone.

His absences made it easier for her too. It made it easier for her to go and seek out Lancelot, because she could justify to herself that he was leaving her alone and she did not want to be alone. It made it easier to forget that she was married when her husband did not show.

She loved Lancelot as well, which made it even harder. She wasn't cheating on Arthur for petty revenge or because she could, but because she loved another. She loved Lancelot show much it hurt sometimes. And Arthur was a good man and she wished she loved him enough to stop seeing Lancelot.

"Gwen?" A hand was on her shoulder. She turned around and came face to face with Arthur, her husband, the king. She realized she had been standing staring at the bed for the past few minutes. She schooled her features into a smile.

"Yes, Arthur?" She made her voice cheerful.

Arthur released her shoulder and began making his way over to a messy desk that sat towards the left corner of the room. "I was hoping to catch you." He reached the desk and began riffling through papers. "I'm afraid I'm going to be up late again. I have to—" He broke off and stilled his movements. "The circumstances of Elador have to be investigated. The old man Leon brought in is awake and the things he's saying—"

Gwen had a hard time listening after he mentioned he was going to be absent again. She had listened enough though to notice he stopped talking. "Saying what things?" She may be cheating on him, but she could still read him and he was clearly troubled.

His hands were placed firmly on the desk beneath him, his head bowed as if the answers he was looking for were in the intricate wood designs on the desk. "They don't make sense and they can't be true. And Merlin, he..he can't be alone when he hears them. I can't, I won't—I'll be there when he hears the truth." There was a finalization in his voice and as if a switch was flicked, he began riffling through the papers again.

Gwen's question still was not answered. "But what things Arthur?"

"I—I can't tell you until I have confirmed it without a doubt."

He was blocking her out again, just like when Merlin was injured a few days back. "Please, Arthur let me help." _Let me be useful to you somehow, because I feel like I'm destroying everything._

Arthur found the paper he was searching for. "I don't want to lie to you Gwen, which is what I will have to do if you keep asking me." He looked at her with troubled eyes. "Please, just let it go. I promise I will tell you everything as soon as I know it's true." He looked back down at the paper in his hands and away from Gwen. "I don't think it's my right to tell anyways."

'_I don't want to lie to you.' Well, I'm lying to you Arthur._ She tried not to let the pain she was feeling show in her eyes, she held back the tears and nodded. "I understand Arthur." He looked up at her and she gave him a small peck on the lips and it felt like a goodbye or maybe a point of no return. "Go," she smiled at him, "But don't exhaust yourself."

Arthur smiled back and then left the room.

It would only come to Gwen later, as she was headed to Lancelot's chambers, that the reason Arthur was not in bed next to her that night, was because he chose to be with Merlin instead.

* * *

"Mordred!" Morgana held the younger man in her arms. His breathing was coming out in gasps and his eyes kept fluttering as if trying to open. Morgana felt terror grip her, she could not lose another person she had come to care about.

She slapped him across the face and his eyes slowly opened.

His breathing evened out and he stared up at her.

"Can you hear me Mordred?"

'_Yes_.' The voice in her head sounded tired. '_I am fine.'_

Morgana still held him in her arms. "What happened?" Her began running scans over his body, deciphering if he had any other injuries.

'_It is…taxing controlling a mind at such a far distance, trying to display images instead of words. I was simply magically exhausted.'_

Morgana wiped away some sweat from his brow. "You should be more careful." She said it tenderly as she looked affectionately down at him. She gave him a smile and helped him into a sitting position. "I did not realize how much this would affect you. I wish I could help."

Mordred turned his bright blue gaze to the woman sitting next to him. '_You are helping Morgana, you just cannot help with this.' _He looked at the clean, golden dress she was wearing. '_Your actions today will help.'_

Morgana looked worried. "Are you sure you do not wish me to stay here? I can visit King Lot tomorrow if you are feeling ill."

Mordred shook his head. '_No._'

* * *

"My mo—mother?"

There were four men in Gaius' s room: Arthur, Leon, Merlin, and Fendral. Gaius and Margret had been asked to leave; Arthur did not want to the story to get out into the masses of Camelot. It was Essetir's problem and he feared how the people would look at Merlin if they knew the truth. It was about midday, two days after the vigil. Merlin wore a black tie around his wrist. The old man, Fendral, had finished retelling how Elador had burned down.

Leon would not look at Merlin. He may be a knight, strong, and noble but he could stand to see his friends in pain, especially one that had been through enough already. Arthur stood next to Merlin, closer than deemed appropriate, but Leon did not comment; there was no need to.

_My mother killed an entire village; burned them alive._

Arthur tried in vain to salvage the situation. "Well he said the flames were aided by—by magic," he looked to Leon for support, "it wasn't just Hunith."

_My mother went mad and killed an village, my village, our village._

Leon tried to help. "She, she wasn't in her right mind Merlin." He stepped forward and grabbed Merlin by the shoulders; Merlin refused to look up. "It wasn't her anymore. People, as they age some can lose their minds. It was no longer your mother, Merlin."

Merlin began laughing, hysterically.

He could not breath, he was bent over, hands resting on his knees, and tears falling down his face. Arthur and Leon both looked at him concerned. Arthur took Merlin by the shoulders, lifted his face, and slapped him across the cheek. The laughing stopped, Merlin could breathe again, but the tears continued to roll down his face.

Fendral, the old man, had the decency to look away and not comment on the young man's emotional breakdown.

Arthur was still holding Merlin's face in his hands. "Merlin…" He had no idea what to say. He thought back to his father's death and the words that he most wanted to hear. "There—there was nothing you could have done. Some things just, happen. It was out of your control."

_This is the one thing that does not rest on your shoulders_. The thought bounced around Merlin's head. He looked into Arthur's eyes and saw compassion. He saw an understanding and hope through the watery veil that overlapped his blue eyes. And Merlin let go.

His sobs came out broken, breathy, and body wrenching. Arthur tugged the young man into him, enclosing him in his arms and began whispering words of comfort. Leon placed a hand on Merlin's back and guided the two out of the room Fendral was laying in and shut the door behind them.

He shared a look with Arthur and then left Gaius's room, leaving Arthur once again alone with Merlin giving him the comfort he severely needed.

* * *

Moonlight was shining in through the small windows above when Merlin's last few tears rolled down his cheeks. He was spent, emotionally but he did not move from his position: one arm wrapped around Arthur's back, the other fisted in the front of his tunic, and his head resting on his shoulder. He liked the feeling, being close to someone.

Arthur enjoyed the feeling of holding Merlin. He was always a tactile person, his hands always were placed out to grab a shoulder or give a simple clap on the back, but always touching, confirming the person was there. So, he never hesitated to give comfort when someone needed it and Merlin was no exception. Arthur's arm was wrapped around Merlin, which had been moving in soothing circles while he was crying, and his other arm had been wrapped around Merlin's front, in sort of sideways hug, but he had dropped the arm a while ago and now it just rested on the small space between them on the bench.

He felt Merlin shift.

"Sorry about your tunic." Merlin's voice was harsh from his crying.

"It's fine, I'll just have you clean it later." He tried to lighten the mood with a joke and he felt more than heard Merlin give a small chuckle against his chest, his face pointed down and away from Arthur's. He looked down to see Merlin's hand that had been fisted in his tunic, had begun playing with the fabric in an absent manner.

Arthur felt the mood shift. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." _If there's one thing I can do right is be there for people, for you._

Merlin took a deep breath in and Arthur felt it against him. "It's—it's just not fair." Merlin still would not look at Arthur and his hand began playing with Arthur's tunic again. "She deserved better." Arthur felt like that sentence had a deeper meaning to it, but he did not know what.

Arthur could give comfort, but words they were a whole different matter. "We rarely get what we deserve." Arthur tried to make up for his lack of comforting words by pulling Merlin tighter against him. "There are very few people who deserve to die, anyways."

"I wish I could have seen her." Merlin's breath hitched. "One more time." Arthur knew that feeling. "Or hear her speak to me again. I'm afraid…afraid I'll forget her voice." _Because I've already forgotten about her once_. Arthur never thought about forgetting someone before, never had that fear. He could still remember his father's voice and his father's face but that was because his father was king and there's mementos around the castle. There will never be a time when Arthur is allowed to forget as long as he resides in Camelot. He will never forget his father, where he came from, and who he is.

_Oh…_

"How about this then," Arthur bumped up his shoulder causing Merlin to look up at him. "If you promise to always be by my side—" Merlin looked like he was about to say something but Arthur stopped him with a held out hand; he started over. "If you promise to always be by my side, then I'll make sure that you never forget where you came from, because that's really your fear is it not, forgetting who you are?"

Merlin looked at him with wide eyes, wondering how Arthur saw through him that easily. _He can read through my words and fears, but the stupid clotpole can't see who I really am. _He ignored the tightening in his chest. The corners of his mouth twitched upward. "Sometimes you say things Arthur and they almost sound like words of wisdom."

"I believe I have said similar things about you Merlin." Arthur could not help but send a smile back, neither of them realized how close they were, inches from each other faces it seemed a nature position to be in.

"Maybe we aren't that different from each other then?"

Arthur adopted a look of fake horror on his face. "Oh god, please don't say things like that." Merlin gave a small chuckle and rested his head back on Arthur's shoulder, his hand resuming its task of messing with Arthur's tunic. Arthur smiled down at Merlin, and for a second thought that this was not how kings and servants were suppose to act around each other.

"But, yes." Merlin said into Arthur's chest, interrupting his thoughts. "I promise." _Would you make the same promise if you knew what I really was?_

* * *

Hands were everywhere; all around her. They were touching, caressing, pulling, and grabbing. They were rough, the hands of someone who worked; calloused, not smoothed. They never stayed still, one minute they would be caressing her face and the next they would be grabbing her hips.

His lips followed his hands. And unlike his hands, they were smooth, almost impossibly so. They would start on her shoulder, move up to her neck, and then finally her lips. The kisses were soft and demanding and she could feel the love pouring out from where they met her skin.

It was overwhelming, consuming, and she could not get enough.

She woke up.

Gwen blinked her eyes open to see the first rays of the sun streaming in through the window. Her muddled brain relayed the dream; _no, not a dream, a memory._ She shifted and saw an arm thrown around her naked waist. She hated that fact that she felt comfortable under that arm.

She turned over and saw the face of Lancelot. He was still asleep, his dark brown hair splayed across the pillow, and his other arm resting beneath his head. He looked peaceful and Gwen resisted the urge to kiss him. Her eyes though, still moved down to his lips remembering what they had caused her to feel last night.

She felt disgusted with herself and what was worse was the feeling was not enough to make her regret her actions. She knew that if given the chance she would make the decisions again. Because this is where she wanted to be and she would always find her way back to this spot.

More rays of light landed on the bed and Gwen knew she had to leave before someone caught them. She slipped out of the bed as quietly as she could. Lancelot grumbled and rolled over in the newly empty bed; he did not wake up. Gwen slipped on her dress from the night before and left the room, wishing that she could have stayed.

* * *

The first rays of light were streaming in through the windows as Arthur laid down Merlin onto his bed after carrying him from Gaius's room. He pulled the sheets over his servant, took one last look at the young man, and then left the room. He was shutting the door quietly behind him as Leon approached. Arthur still could not figure out how Leon always knew were everyone was.

"Sir Leon." Arthur nodded as he motioned to begin walking. He picked a direction and continued down the hallway with no destination in mind. He had been sitting down for the entire night and needed to keep walking in order to stay awake. Leon fell into stride next to him. "How's Fendral?"

"Fine, milord." Arthur shot his knight a look and Leon felt the corner of his lips twitch up. "Arthur. Gaius just checked on him, he should be fit to leave in the next couple days."

"He had somewhere to go?"

Leon nodded. "He has a half sister in Camelot." _This isn't what you wanted to talk to me about though Arthur._

Arthur looked around the hallway, taking in the emptiness just before everyone awoke for their daily duties. "Have you spoken to him about Elador." _Have you told him not to say anything to anyone?_

"I have told him that he cannot mention the happenings of Elador for it might cause a panic." Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Fires beginning started from nothing but magic sire, and nothing else." Leon told him not to mention Hunith was involved. "What do you plan on telling the people though, many had relatives in Elador."

Arthur sighed, he hated lying to his people. "We will tell them that there was an accidental fire and there it nothing more we can do, it is in King Lot's kingdom after all." Arthur gave a look at Leon: _I trust you enough to know that you will keep the truth a secret._ Leon did not hesitate to nod.

"Oh, one more thing." Arthur grabbed Leon by the arm. "Keep an eye on Merlin."

_And that's the real reason you wanted to speak to me Arthur._

Leon gave Arthur a knowing smile. "Of course milord." Arthur glared at him.

"It's Arthur."

Leon walked away smiling and Arthur turned to walk back the way be came. He saw a flash of a blue gown round the far corner, the color seemed familiar to him but his brain was exhausted and he did not feel like thinking on it then. He continued to his rooms.

* * *

"King Richardson will be on his way to see me?" King Lot sat upon his throne, relaxed. The throne room was large and grand with eight pillars guttering from the ground to the high ceiling creating a pathway to the throne. The room was bathed in light from the large window directly behind the throne, illuminating the king in an almost holy light.

Morgana kneeled before the throne. "Yes."

"And you know this, how?"

"Because we have planned that way." Morgana paused. "There will be circumstances in the next few days that will cause him to come crawling to your kingdom for help."

King Lot was not an idiot and he would not talk half truths. "Help with what."

"Camelot." There's the truth.

King Lot leaned forward on his throne. "Have you not tried to take over Camelot already with the use of my kingdom?" _I remember what happened to Cenred._ Morgana nodded, fully expecting this conversation since she and Mordred had practiced it.

"Yes milord, but this time we will succeed." King Lot looked like he was about to object but Morgana continued. "This time it will be your kingdom and King Richardson's kingdom marching on Camelot. It will be by force that Camelot falls not magic and I have far more powerful aid on my side than I had with Morgause."

"Who?"

"Mordred."

"I have not heard of him."

Morgana smirked. "He is more powerful than you can comprehend and with the aid of you and Richardson, Camelot will no longer be under the control of Arthur."

King Lot placed and hand under his shin and leaned on the ornate arm of the chair he sat on. "And of course you will take the throne, again."

Morgana shook her head. "I will be queen, but Mordred will be king. The consolidation of power will be far greater than if I ruled alone." Morgana looked directly at King Lot. "And the marriage to the rightful queen of Camelot allows for Mordred to take the throne as king under the laws of Camelot."

King Lot grinned and leaned back in his chair, contemplating. "And what will I get out of this deal Morgana?"

"A part of the riches of Camelot and the eastern lands." She said without hesitation. "And, of course, the ending of the reign of King Arthur." She saw the look in King Lot's eyes and could not help the smile of victory that came to her face.

* * *

It was midday day now in Camelot. The sun was almost to its highest point in the sky and barred down the land below. The sky as clear, not a cloud to be seen. And the knights were outside training. Arthur, who had not slept the night before, walked around the knights giving tips but not actually picking up a sword. His eyes would occasionally glance over at the only bench in the training arena, which was no more than a empty patch of grass behind the castle with targets, to look for Merlin who was not there.

"Block to your left Percival." Arthur sometimes wondered why he gave Percival tips in fighting the man did not need to know how to fight, he could probably just pick grown men up and throw them; the knight had no need for a sword. Percival nodded that he heard and swung to his left more often.

Arthur came upon Elyan who was fighting Lancelot. Lancelot, Arthur noticed, seemed more tired than usual but passed of nothing more than restless night's sleep, which seemed to be occurring more often to everyone. He watched Elyan threw a viscous counterattack that would have left anyone but Lancelot without a sword and on the ground.

Arthur liked training days, it made him feel extremely proud.

"Nice move Elyan."

Elyan turned to Arthur and acknowledged the complement. "Learned it from you sire." He was out of breath and panting, but there was a huge smile on his face. Arthur saw the rest of his knights were in similar states of breathlessness.

"Take a break and we resume in ten!" Arthur called over the fighting. There was many groans of happiness.

Gwaine was by far the loudest, who had been fighting against Leon. "Thank god, princess finally realized that it was hot out here for the rest of us doing work." It was an insult to Arthur, but Gwaine said it with a grin on his face. Leon, who was walking next to him, punched him in the arm.

"Princess doesn't work anymore Gwaine, I'm not longer a prince."

"Shall I call you queen then, your majesty?" Gwaine bumped Arthur's shoulder as he walked by with an added wink. Arthur balked at the idea and Lancelot became very still all of the sudden. No one noticed expect for Leon.

"There already is a queen Gwaine." Lancelot said from his spot on the bench.

Gwaine turned to Lancelot. "Then we know who wears the pants in that relationship, eh Lance."

Lancelot moved to retort but Arthur held up a hand. He throw Lancelot a tired smile. "It's fine Lance. No one can ever get Gwaine to stop talking so don't even try." He threw Gwaine a glare as the man walked away laughing. "Thanks for trying though."

Lancelot thought of how he had held Gwen the previous night and wondered if Arthur would still be thanking him if he knew. Probably not. He sent his king a forced smile and resumed fixing the ties on his boots, which were perfectly fine to begin with; just so he would not have to look at Arthur, his friend, his king in the eye.

Arthur clapped him on the back and walked towards Elyan who was in a conversation with Percival that involved large hand movements. Lancelot felt the urge to throw himself at Arthur's feet and beg for forgiveness. Tell him everything, every thought, every want that he had and then hand the king his sword to run him through. He could see himself, on his knees, wishing he was worthy to look at the man he called a friend in the eye. He could no longer believe he belonged on the same level as the rest of the knights, least of all Arthur.

He wished the feelings of humiliation, regret, and shame were enough to make him stop.

They were not.

* * *

**Hey, building up the plot. **

**There will be some truths and revelations discovered in the next chapters, so look forward to that.**

**Review! Please *puppy dog eyes***


	8. Chapter 8: Paper Walls

**New Chapter!**

**A few annocments:**

**-A 'thank you' to all those who have reviewed! You guys are truly the best. And I have taken your comments to heart; the jumping around in time is confusing, I know, but I have begun to lessen it, because the story is compressing to one point very quickly so it won't be needed. **

**-I put in a tavern scene, because I felt it was needed in this chapter so enjoy that :-)**

**-it's a bit shorter than the rest, but no less important. The next chapter will feature the what happens after people find out about Lancelot and Gwen's relationship and it will also feature a change in the visions Merlin has been seeing**

**-I think that's it**

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothing**

**Lyrics at the beginning: Linkin Park, CASTLE OF GLASS**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 8: Paper Walls

_Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass_

_Hardly anything there for you to see_

_For you to see_

* * *

"Has there been any word from King Lot?" Arthur asked as he looked through his drawers for an overcoat; it was changing into winter and the temperature was dropping rapidly. The question was addressed to Agravaine who stood towards the middle of the room, his hands clasped behind his back.

"No sire, there has been no word from King Lot." He watched the king riffling through his draws and thought that it was suppose to be his servants job, but kept the comment to himself. He wanted to leave the room as soon as possible, he had a meeting to attend with Lord Borin.

Arthur found what he was looking for, pulled the coat on and then turned to Agravaine with a somber expression. "Well me know if one does." Agravaine nodded and took as his cue to leave, he opened the door when Arthur called out. "And I have a council meeting scheduled three days from now. Let the other councilmen know."

"Yes, sire." Agravaine let the door close behind him and he began a brisk walk to Lord Borin's chambers where they decided it was probably best to met. The chambers were located across the castle from the King's, but on the same level; it only took Agravaine a few minutes to arrive in front of the wooden door. He knocked and then entered. The room was s bit smaller than the King's, but it a larger window and two desks instead of one.

Lord Borin sat behind the desk in front of the large glass window, the afternoon sun playing on his graying hair, turning it silver. "Ah, Agravaine it is nice to see you." He had been writing; he placed the quill down and took off his reading glasses. "I was expecting you sooner."

Agravaine walked into the room and sat down on the bench around the dining room table, across the room from Lord Borin. "The King kept me." He picked an apple out of the bowl of fruit on the table and took a large bite out of it. "I apologize for my tardiness, but down to business."

Borin gave Agravaine a large smile. "Lord Deverick has agreed with the plan: if Arthur is unable to rule then he has agreed to support your rule in his place." The smile fell slightly from his face. "I did have to dance around the truth though since you have not told me exactly how you are going to get Arthur to step down from the throne."

Agravaine waved his free hand in a dismissing manner. "It will be no problem, consider it a certainty. Who else have you gotten to agree to this?"

"All the councilmen expect for Lord Cael who I will speak to later today." Lord Borin worried his bottom lip. "What do you plan to do about the knights; they are extremely loyal to the king."

Agravaine tossed the apple into a trash bin at the end of the table. "Most of the knights that are most loyal to him are commoners, it will not be hard to simply banish them from Camelot and the knights of noble blood, well…let's just say they aren't as keen on Arthur as the rest."

"It amazes me he has been in power this long with his list of enemies."

"No one speaks up against him because nothing has gone wrong enough for them to have legitimate concerns." Agravaine leaned back against the table. "This will soon change, of course and then Arthur's precarious hold on Camelot will fall."

* * *

The scene shifted.

They were kissing.

It was a man and a woman, but they were turned and it was dark and he could not make out their faces. But they were kissing, enthusiastically; bodies pressed into each other as if trying to become one. They were in the halls of Camelot's citadel. He recognized the hallway.

They separated and the woman turned her head.

The scene shifted.

He was being kissed.

It was angry, vengeful, and utterly consuming. He was kissing back with as much power and force as the one kissing him. With every shove he got, he pushed back just as hard causing his back to both hit and repel from the wall behind him. It hurt; he did not care.

He was trying to forget something, or maybe it was everything.

He knew it was working and he sure did not want it to stop, even though some small part in his brain told him he should. That small part of his brain left when the angry lips left his and attacked his neck.

His eyes fluttered open and he caught a flash of blonde.

The scene shifted.

"And then you sign here." He could not place the voice, but it was male and most likely an older man. The man being spoken to he recognized, it was Agravaine. Agravaine was leaning over a desk, a long piece of parchment was before him; he could not make out the words on the paper.

"You must write a second name down."

Agravaine began asking why.

Merlin woke up…

… with light streaming in from the one window in his room, his sheets twisted around him, his breath coming out in gasps, his body sweating, and chest in knots. He felt a wave of nausea roll up in him and he had enough sense to roll over and hurl onto the floor below and not his bed. He stayed leaned over the bed, focusing only on his breathing. _In, out, in, out, in, out._

He closed his eyes, trying to focus on breathing and nothing else; closing off the world around him. The visions were getting worse, more frequent and more forceful as if some conclusion or climax was about to be met. His body shuddered, and the feeling of nausea left. He blindly reached up to his nightstand and grabbed his journal. He threw it down on the bed, rolled himself into a sort of sitting position and began writing down the newest visions.

He would clean up the vomit afterwards.

* * *

"Lord Borin?" Lord Cael sounded surprised to find the previously mentioned lord standing outside his door. The lord motioned to be let in the room, Cael stepped aside to let him in. "Has something happened?" He asked as he shut the door and offered the lord a seat next to him at the small wooden table; both lords sat down.

"It is something that has been happening for awhile Cael." Borin said looking serious and worried.

"I do not know what you are talking about Borin."

"My fear for Camelot has been growing as of late Cael." Borin began as if telling a story. "I have always had doubts about the…the ruling of Camelot after Uther, god rest his soul, died. You know this." Cael nodded. "It is only now that I believe we should take action in regards to this fear."

Cael leaned back in the chair, almost leaning as if trying to lean away from Borin. "You have told me of these fears before Borin, but I do not understand what actions you are speaking about." Borin gave Cael a sharp look and Cael sucked in a breath. "You are talking of treason!"

Borin shot forward in his seat. "I am trying to protect this kingdom. You know that Arthur cannot hold his reign! He's taking council from a damn servant Cael!" Borin grasped Cael by the shoulders and continued in a quieter voice. "I am not taking any action, yet, but if there comes a time when I need to I will. I just need to know you will be on my side."

Cael looked at Borin with disapproval and then let out a breath of air, physically deflating. "I cannot condone this, but if something was to happen I believe that we should have a plan B, so to speak." He shrugged the man's hands of his shoulder and walked over to his door. "I will support you; now leave." He held open the door and Borin left with a small nod.

Cael shut the door and looked around his room lost.

* * *

It was coming to the end of midday. The sun was being its descent down the sky, which queued Arthur to stop the knights practice with a shout. Gwen, who decided to sit next to Merlin and watch, said goodbye and headed back into the castle.

"You are free the rest of the night Merlin." Arthur said as he walked over to the bench where Merlin sat, lost in his thoughts. He jumped at the sound of Arthur's voice.

"What?"

Arthur sighed as he pulled off his chain mail. The other knights soon joined them and began changing out of their armor. "I said you have the night off. You can say 'thank you' anytime now." He sent Merlin a smirk, which Merlin raised an eyebrow too.

He stood and with an exaggerated bow said, "Oh thank you King Arthur I shall for ever sing your praises." Gwaine snorted as he fought with his shirt, which kept wanting to come off with his chain mail. It appeared to be a losing battle for Gwaine; Elyan stood behind him laughing at his struggle.

Arthur dropped the chain mail on the bench. "There, was that so hard for you to say Merlin?"

Gwaine finally got his head out from the shirt with a triumphant smirk on his face. He quickly ran a hand through his hair, walked over to Merlin, and threw an arm around his friend's shoulders. "Now, you heard princess you have the night off, which means you're coming with us to celebrate."

Arthur pulled on a new shirt and picked up the dirty chain mail. "See Merlin, I'm letting you go to your favorite spot."

"The tavern is not my—" Merlin cut himself off with an indigent huff knowing no one would believe him as Gwaine steered him away from Arthur and began walking them of the training field. The rest of the knights followed, wanting the drink as much as Gwaine did. It had been a long couple of weeks.

They arrived at the tavern to find it as busy as it always was at the end of the day. They procured a table and that's when the fight for seats began. The only person that was not part of this seat battle was Percival, who everyone was avoiding. The knights and Merlin realized quickly that Percival became very touchy-feely when drunk and having a six foot four man pulling you into his chest was an idea of a good time, so began the competition on who sat where. Merlin, sadly, was off in his head again and was stuck sitting in between Percival and Leon.

The drinks began to flow almost immediately.

Merlin usually did not get plastered as the rest (well, not the rest more like just Gwaine, while the others were just tipsy). He enjoyed watching them instead as he sipped on his one pint of mead.

Percival, as stated, became very hands on, which was why Merlin was currently being crushed into a very well muscled chest. It was getting difficult to breathe. Gwaine became louder, always tried to start a fight (with anyone), and flirted at anyone with two legs. Elyan would become very talkative and could tell the most interesting stories with extremely wild hand gestures that sometimes included him standing on the table; he was beginning a story now. Leon, to Merlin extreme amusement, laughed at everything, well not just laughed; it was more of a giggle. The first time Merlin had heard Leon giggle, he had laughed so hard tears were rolling down his face.

Elyan had just done a hand movement which caused his pint to spill and Leon began to giggle. Merlin would have laughed, but he was currently being suffocated by Percival who was telling him how much he missed Yellow; Merlin was guessing it was a pet's name and not the color.

Merlin turned his head and was able to breathe in fresh air and his new found view allowed him to see Lancelot. Now, Lancelot had two moods he would go into when drunk. The first was involved a lot of smiles and dancing with at least bar maid, the second one was a very morose mood. Today, it was the latter. Lancelot was currently sitting the farthest down the table, hunched over the table, staring sadly into his mug.

"It's just—Yellow was a true friend you know." Percival sniffed and began to pet Merlin's head and then crushed him into his chest tighter. Merlin was beginning to believe that he would have a permanent imprint of Percival's tunic on his face.

He could not help but smile though, watching as Elyan knocked over another mug, Leon giggling and clutching his side, Gwaine sending kisses over to one of the more plump bar maids, and Percival clinging to him as a representative of a lost pet; he loved this, this is where he belonged.

And for the first time in awhile, he forgot about everything that was weighing on him: his magic, his duty to Arthur, Agravaine, Morgana, his mother's death, the visions. That's why he motioned for another pint of mead with his arm that was stuck in between his body and Percival's.

It's also why he did not notice Lancelot leave a few minutes later.

* * *

Gwaine interrupted his flirting with the bar maid across the tavern to glance at Merlin sitting down the bench from him. He was being crushed into Percival, trying to order another drink, and had a ridiculously large smile on his face. Gwaine smiled at the picture. This is what he wanted. He had known how depressed Merlin was becoming lately, with the death of his mother and his entire village, and as a friend, Gwaine wanted to cheer him up; Merlin deserved it.

And if it was one thing that Gwaine was good at, it was helping out friends.

* * *

Leon and Gwaine stumbled down the halls of the castle. It was around midnight, they had drunk copious amounts of alcohol at the tavern, and now they were trying to make back to their rooms. It was proving to be more difficult than anticipated because every time Gwaine would stumble Leon would start laughing and then would stumble himself and then no further ground was covered for the next few minutes. It was proving to be a long trip.

They made it to Gwaine's room first. Leon bid him goodbye with a wave and a giggle, and then began stumbling his way down the hall back to his room. He turned the corner; his room was towards the end of the hall next to Lancelot's. He had made it halfway down the hallway when he saw something move in the shadows. His addled brain put enough information together to be quiet.

He crept along the wall, his body automatically making the quietest movements as possible. The shadows could now be made as two people, they were talking in hushed voices. Leon crept along further to get a better view. The two people turned into a man and woman. They were now kissing.

Leon blushed, he had not meant to be voyeur. He stood up, and went to turn around, and in that moment the woman and men moved in a way that the light from a nearby torch illuminated their faces, which were pressed against each other.

It was Guinevere and Lancelot.

* * *

Merlin, who was tipsily wondering around the castle, trying to avoid sleep that would lead to more visions, came across a similar scene. The scene of his latest vision: the faceless woman and man in the hallway. Unlike the vision, Merlin stayed long enough to see their faces.

And he felt the air leave his chest. He stumbled backwards into the wall and leaned against it; wishing above anything that he had not seen them. He closed his eyes trying to wash away reality, but all he could see was Arthur and his heart breaking. _He can't know_.

Another secret. Another lie.

And little did Merlin know, that on the opposite side of the hallway, Leon saw the exact same thing and came to the same conclusion that Merlin did: that Arthur must not know.

* * *

**Oh! Next chapter will feature Leon's reaction to the last scene. I thought it would be interesting to play with his character; he's one of favorites.**

**Hope you enjoyed.**

**And if there are any errors, it's all my fault so you can tell me in a review :-)**


	9. Chapter 9: Up in Flames

**Hello!**

**Here's the next chapter. It's shorter than some of the others, but I really wanted to concentrate on character reactions, so it's shorter because of that but full of character emotions and revelations. I hope you enjoy the Lancelot and Leon scene (I may of teared up a bit when writing Lancelot's part).**

**Side note:**

**-Thanks for those that I have reviewed and I apologize for the mistakes, but it's difficult to edit your own work sometimes. I've tried to clean this chapter up more, but I may have missed a few. If you see any mistakes, feel free to tell me so I can fix it ;-)**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Lyrics in the beginning: Imagine Dragons, Demons**

* * *

Chapter 9: Up in Flames

_I want to hide the truth_

_I want to shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's nowhere we can hide_

_Don't want to let you down_

_But I am hell bound_

_Though this is all for you_

_Don't want to hide the truth_

* * *

Leon awoke the next morning with a killer headache and his mouth tasting like cotton; he had drunk too much the night before. He groaned and rolled over in bed only to realize that he was not on his bed. The ground beneath him was hard as stone, no, it was stone; he was on the floor. He then realized that his back was sore as well, because he had slept on the floor. He was cold as well.

The memories of the night before were fuzzy, especially what happened at the tavern. He remember Elyan and a story about his first ride on a horse, and he remembered Percival mentioning something about a color, and he remembered Merlin, or as he was dubbed that night 'the sacrifice', and he remembered…

He remembered seeing Lancelot and Gwen.

Leon shot up from the floor so fast his head spun and stomach flipped. He stopped moving, not wanting to hurl, and gave his body a few minutes to adjust being upright. He looked down at himself and was thankful, for the first time, that he fell asleep in his clothes from the night before. His head stopped spinning and he left his room.

He traveled the short distance between his room and Lancelot's. He did not bother knocking. He threw open the door, slammed it shut behind him, and locked it. He scanned the room, finding Lancelot's asleep on his bed, Leon stomped over and threw the blankets off.

Lancelot shot up in his bed. "What—" He blinked open his tired eyes and made out the fuzzy form of Leon. "Leon? What are you doing—is something wrong?" He was immediately awake. He jumped out of bed, standing on the opposite side from Leon, waiting for instructions.

Leon faltered. He had no idea how to brooch the subject. "Camelot is safe, for the time being." Lancelot relaxed a little and began walking across the room, Leon met him half way. "I know."

Something flashed in Lancelot's eyes. "Know what?" And Leon saw the fear and guilt that Lancelot was trying to mask and it was all the conformation he needed. Leon ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I saw you, with Guinevere."

Lancelot felt like he had been punched in the stomach.

"Wha—what?" His voice was soft.

Leon pushed down any feelings of sympathy. "Or should I say that I saw you with our Queen." Lancelot's jaw tighten. "Our Queen, Lancelot." Lancelot looked down at the floor and Leon took a step closer to him. "I—why?"

Lancelot looked up at Leon. "Why?"

"Yes, why her?" Leon's voice began to raise. "Why would you decide to pursue the Queen? Or did you conveniently forget that she was married to Arthur?" Lancelot took a step back, he had never seen Leon this angry before and especially not directed at him. Unfortunately the conversation involved Gwen, so Lancelot, instead of backing down became defensive.

"I haven't forgotten! I have never forgotten! You think that I don't know she's married, that she's queen?" Lancelot pointed to himself in a sharp motion. "It weighs on me every time I see her every time I think of her! I can't look at her without being reminded of it!"

"Then why even act on it!" Leon shouted back and then began angrily pacing the room. "The hold Arthur has on this kingdom, over the council is precarious at best and the councilmen only need one reason, one mistake to tip the balances in their direction!"

Lancelot was confused. "He's king surly—"

Leon snapped. "Exactly! He's king of a kingdom! And if that kingdom does not believe in their king, then it falls. When you are caught—"

Lancelot moved to protest and Leon held up a hand to stop him. "When you are caught, because it is only a matter of time, he will be forced to act against both of you." Leon's face became a mixture of anger and sadness. "And it won't be enough to banish both of you. To keep the crown, he must act like his father would have, which would be both yours and Guinevere's execution."

"Don't you see! Besides the fact that you're cheating with his wife, you are also placing him in a position where there is only one course of action." Leon sent pleading eyes to Lancelot, begging him to understand, and his face all the sudden seemed extremely tired. He looked years older than he had the night before.

"But—I love her." Lancelot said with such conviction that Leon had no doubt that he did. He could see it in his eyes, even now, they still lit up at the mere mention of her. And Leon imagined a time and place where they would be truly happy together; it was not this time and place though.

"I know you do Lance, you wouldn't be you if you didn't." He grabbed Lancelot by the shoulder and looked him dead in the eye. "But You can't." Lancelot shook his head. "And if you can't, then you have to pretend. Lie to yourself, tell yourself you don't love her. Every morning, every afternoon, every evening as often as you need to, pretend." Leon grabbed his other shoulder and tightened his grip. "Camelot will fall from Arthur's grasp if you don't."

Lancelot was backing up and shaking his head. "I can't—I've tried. For so long I've tired." His voice was breaking and a tear rolled down his cheek. "I told myself that it could never be, that I wouldn't let it be. That—that no matter what I felt she was Arthur's and I couldn't act." Lancelot raised his face to the ceiling as if looking for guidance, someone to help him through this moment.

"But—but she loves me, Leon." He turned his watery eyes to the other knight with a sappy smile on his face. "She said those words to me and I, god, the joy the absolute joy I felt. She loves me." He chuckled through his tears. "It's ridiculous. I never thought someone as wonderful as her could ever love me."

Leon could feel his heart breaking for his friend. "It can't continue Lance."

Lancelot closed his eyes, replaying the times he shared with Gwen. "I know." He said in a quiet voice. "It's too late though, she loves me Leon, she'd run probably run away with me if anything." He said it with a sad smile on face, loving that he could say for certain she would choose him, while hating the fact that it would kill Arthur for her to do so.

Leon hated himself for what he said next. "Then you have to convince her that you don't love her." He walked forward and grabbed Lancelot, forcing the other man to look at him. "She will stay with Arthur if she thinks that you have no love for her."

Tears were freely following down his face as he realized that there was never any hope for them; they could never be together. "Why—why are telling me this?" He tried to give Leon a hard look. "Maybe I'll just take her away; leave today."

Leon gave him a sad smile. "Because you're Lancelot the bravest and noblest of us all; you'll never put yourself before the kingdom. It's your curse." Lancelot chocked out a sob and slid to the floor.

* * *

"Arthur." The faceless body whispered above him. The body against his and the sensation was incredible. He could feel every contour, every muscle, every inch of the body above him and it was amazing. Somewhere, in the back of his mind he knew who the body belonged to, but he did not focus on that point.

He focused on the hands that were moving down his chest, caressing. They were careful movements; the hands were worshipping his body. And there were lips on his. They were soft, slightly chapped, and perfect. He kissed back with enthusiasm, gripped the body above him tight, and flipped them over.

"Arthur." It was breathless, it was a prayer.

He looked down at body below him and he saw blue eyes.

"Merlin."

Arthur called out as he shot up in bed. His chest raising and falling rapidly and sweat covering his body; the sunlight was barely shining through the window making the sweat glisten. _It's barely morning_, he ran a tired hand over his face and felt something shift beside him.

He looked to his right and saw Gwen, fast asleep next to him. He felt shame run through him and he had to look away from her, because she looked perfect. Her long dark hair was falling around the pillows in waves, her face beautifully content, her body that was made of soft angels spread underneath the sheets. She was perfect and Arthur could not stand it. He wanted to see tussled dark as night hair, a pale face with plump lips, and body that was sharp angles and too skinny.

He wanted to see Merlin next to him, who was far from perfection and, in Arthur's eyes, utterly beautiful because of it.

* * *

Lie. Pretend. Smile. Act.

"Good morning Arthur!" Merlin practically sung out, carrying two trays of food, and kicking the door shut behind him. "And Gwen!" He said the second name as happy as he could given what he saw the night before. The couple was already sitting at the long wooden table with a few feet of space between them. There was an awkward sort of silence that hung around the room. Merlin tried to ignore it.

Arthur looked up from his tired concentration on the table and to Merlin; he blushed slightly. Gwen sent Merlin a large smile and Merlin felt something inside of him twist, not seeing the coloring to Arthur's cheeks.

"Ah, Merlin late as usual." Arthur said, clearing his throat and sending his manservant a fake look of annoyance. Merlin just smiled back and set the food down in front the king and the queen. He grabbed a roll of bread off Arthur's plate before walking over to stand at eth edge of the table in case they needed anything. Arthur, having his food stolen, made an indignant noise. Gwen just watched.

"Oy! That was my food you stole."

Merlin swallowed the piece of bread he was chewing. "Yep." He took another bite.

"You can't steal my food." Arthur placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward. "Unlike you I need to energy to go about my day; you know running a kingdom."

Merlin sent Arthur a pitiful glance. "Unfortunately 'running a kingdom'", he said forming quotation marks in the air with his hands. "Does not require actual physical exercise."

"We are not having this conversation again, Merlin." Arthur said in a dangerous tone. "I am not fat."

"Sire—"

Gwen let their conversation fade into the background. She had heard this argument before and it always ended with Arthur confused and worried about his weight and Merlin grinning as he left the room. This time though, she stopped focusing on the words spoken and actually studied them.

She looked at Arthur first, which was a difficult thing for her to do and it caused all kinds of guilt to wash up in her chest. She subtly slid her eyes over to him. He was saying something back and he was clearly upset, but what she had not noticed before was the slight upwards tilt of his lips; he was trying not to smile. His eyes were bright and so focused on Merlin that Gwen felt she could of jumped up on the table and he would not notice. He looked at Merlin like—like…

She turned her attention over to Merlin. He was standing, leaning against the wall near the far corner of the table. He was giving some sort of retort back, but the mirth on his face was not hidden like Arthur's. He was grinning and his eyes were solely fixed on Arthur, but the look was different. Gwen saw it now and wondered how she had missed it before. Behind the mirth there were underlying emotions devotion, caring, and sadness. Gwen tilted her head slightly wondering why Merlin would feel sad when looking at Arthur.

Maybe it was because—

"Gwen!" Arthur's voice snapped her out of her musings. She physically jerked in her seat and turned her head to face Arthur who was looking slightly worried, but her mind was elsewhere. She kept seeing his face and then the way his eyes lit up when trained on Merlin. And she could not think of a single time when he had looked at her like that.

"I'm sorry—I have—I need" Gwen stumbled for words and she clumsily stood up from the table. "I forgot there's something I have to discuss with, uh, I need to go." She fled the room before either man could say anything. Merlin watched with concentration as she left, Arthur looked after her with worry.

Arthur stood up from the table in a hurry. "I should go see what's wrong, she looked upset—"

The door shut behind Gwen and Merlin felt his senses change. He watched as the door opened and Gwen and Arthur came storming back into the room. They were speaking, yelling at each other, but he could not hear what they were saying even though he was a few feet away. He saw Arthur grab Gwen by the arm, a look of anger and hurt on his face; Gwen was crying. They moved around the room, Merlin followed them. Arthur turned to yell something.

The feeling of his hands landing on something solid caused the scene to fade away like smoke, and jerked him back to the present. He was leaned over the table, his arms holding him up, his head was throbbing, and his breathing was erratic. _Like when I have visions, only this time—_There was a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Arthur.

"Merlin?" Arthur saw recognition in Merlin's face and sighed with relief. "How are you feeling?"

Merlin swallowed. "Fine."

Arthur left his hand on Merlin's shoulder. "You just, blanked out. I tried calling your name, but you—you were looking around the room as if, as if something was there…" Merlin remembered how Arthur looked after he had first collapsed with the visions and he was being given that same look now.

He plastered a smile on his face and stood up straight, knocking Arthur's hand off his shoulder. "It's fine, I just got light headed. I'm still really tired from the night before."

Arthur took a step back with his arms crossed over his chest. "Last night at the tavern."

Merlin winced, but nodded.

He went back to his duties, picking Arthur's clothes off the floor in slower movements than he normally would have, and Arthur watched him with a critical eye. And completely forgot about Gwen's early departure.

* * *

Merlin had made some excuse to leave Arthur's room before he finished all his duties. He ran to his room, closed the door behind him, leaned back against it, and slid to the floor; his knees bent and his head held in his hands. His mind was swimming. _It had felt so real. _The scene, his vision, his hallucination, it had felt real as if it was happening in front of him. It was only after his hands touched something solid was he jerked back to reality. The visions, at least he knew the difference between them and reality, but now…

He gripped his hair tighter, shut eyes, and focused on what he knew. But that was problem, he had no idea what was real and what was not. He had built himself up on lies. He had lied to so many people, played so many different roles that he was not sure who he was. And now he was not even sure what was actually happening and what had not happened yet.

He was losing his mind and his house of lies was slowing falling apart and he could feel it. He could feel the end, the climax, the build up, it was coming to a head.

He had built himself on pillars of sand and now he was sinking.

_Stop!_

He yelled at himself. _Stop. _He pushed the thoughts away and let go of his head. He took a deep breath in and lifted his head up. He pushed himself back up onto his feet. _It doesn't matter. I have to keep going._ He was falling apart, but he was not broken yet and until that point in time, he would keep pushing forward, keep trying, and keep protecting. _It's bigger than me._

_Arthur still needs me._

He composed himself, stood up straighter: _And will keep helping him, protecting him, loving him until my mind completely fades away. Keep going. Keep going._

* * *

__**Alright! I hope you guys liked it. It was fun (in a heart breaking sort of way) to write. I liked finally having Gwen see Arthur and Merlin, it was nice to have her notice the dynamic between the two. **

**next chapter will involve the consequences of these revelations, Lancelot speaking to Gwen (depressing break-up), some Agravaine, and some Merlin and Gwaine scenes (that center around Merlin's change in visions/hallucinations)**


	10. Chapter 10:Yesterday

**I'm back!**

**Here's another chapter. It's full of reveals (some of love and some of magic). **

**I want to thank all of those who have reviewed. You guys are great. I have tried editing more, this chapter especially should be error free. I will try, when I get time, to go back through the other chapters and fix the mistakes. :-)**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Last time I checked I was not in France filming Merlin, so therefore I can conclude that I do not own it**

**Lyrics in the beginning: Rosie Thomas, Farewell**

* * *

Chapter 10: Yesterday

_I never asked you for_

_A sailboat in the yard_

_Or that fancy dress to wear_

_Or a ceiling made of stars_

_And all I got was just this_

_Broken heart from you_

* * *

'_We have to end this.'_

The words that Lancelot had spoken to Gwen moments ago echoed through her head as she clumsily walked down the deserted halls of the castle. She placed her hand on the wall to balance herself as her foot tripped on a loose stone on the floor. Her vision blurred and the rest of her body joined her hand in leaning against the wall.

'_It's wrong Gwen.'_

She had protested at first. He was holding her in his arms when he began his speech and she had pulled out of the embrace, shaking her head, and screaming _No!_ in her mind with every word he said. He had, at first, followed her backwards movements, but gave up and ended up standing in the middle of his room tearing her heart out.

'_It was never going to turn out happy. You know that.'_

She did know that, but she would not believe it. She had thought herself horrible at first, cheating on her husband with his best friend. She still felt horrible about it, but she had stopped feeling guilty. Because she had seen the way Arthur looked at Merlin and she may be physically cheating on him, but he was emotionally cheating on her. He did not love her as much as he loved Merlin, she could see that now and it did not hurt because she had Lancelot.

'_We can't—I'm stopping it.'_

She had Lancelot, who she loved and it made it easier to pretend to be with Arthur when she knew at least someone loved her.

'_It was just a one time act.'_

'_It wasn't for me! I love you Lancelot, I want to stay with you.'_

'_I don't love you Gwen.'_

And now she had nothing. A part of her, a small part of her, believed she deserved this. It was only fair after her actions that she should end up alone. Because she was not going to lie to herself and say she still had Arthur; she did not. Arthur loved her, he would not have married her if he did not, but he loved Merlin more. And she had Lancelot, so it was alright.

But she no longer had Lancelot. She was alone and as she continued to walk down the hallways of Camelot, she kept telling herself that she deserved it, deserved to be unloved, hoping that by the time she reached her chambers she would believe it.

* * *

The council meeting ended and Merlin felt that nothing had been accomplished. There was nothing that needed to changed in Camelot's laws, there were no treats on their borders, no further news of the missing courier, no letter from King Lot, and the homicide at Ealdor was shoved under so many rugs no one knew to ask about what had happened.

The only thing that Merlin gathered that was of significance was that neither Gwen nor Lancelot were at the meeting, and it seemed that Leon knew why by the fact that he would not look at either of their empty seats.

And so, with the meeting adjourned, they all began standing up and filing out of the room. Merlin stood with rest and began making his way over to Arthur, who was in conversation with Leon near the door, to see if he needed to do anything. He was blocked on his way by Agravaine.

"Sire," Agravaine said loud enough to halt Arthur's conversation with Leon and turn his attention to him. "I need to speak to you," He gave a pointed look at Leon and Merlin. "privately."

"I will take my leave then." Leon said, bowing which caused Arthur to glare at the knight. Leon grabbed Merlin's arm and dragged the servant out with him when he looked as if he was going to protest to leaving Arthur's side. The door shut behind the two of them.

And then the hallway was full of people. They were in armor, running about, yelling orders. Some were bleeding as if they had been in battle, some were laying dead on the floor, eyes unseeing. Merlin took a step back before he stepped on an arm that was no longer attached to a body. It was chaos. He could smell the blood and steel in the air and he could hear the clanging of metal on metal outside.

"Merlin!" His name being shouted caused the scene to dissolve into smoke and he found himself staring at Leon's worried face, his back against the wall with Leon's hand on his arm. "Can you hear me?" Merlin nodded faintly and looked around the hallway. There was no blood, no death, no soldiers. It was peaceful and quiet and Merlin began shaking.

"It's fine Leon. I'm fine, just got light headed." He waved a hand as if to clear the worry from the air and stepped out of Leon's hold. "I've been working for the prat all morning." He let out a strained chuckle and then quickly made his way down the hall before Leon could protest.

He left Leon standing there with concern on his face. And Leon was reminded of an old man named Fendral who spoke of Merlin's mother in her last few days and how she would blank out and act as if she was seeing things that were not actually there.

* * *

The door shut leaving both Arthur and Agravaine alone in the council room. Arthur turned away from the door, walked over to the empty Round Table, pulled out a random chair, and took a seat. He looked over at Agravaine who walked around to the other side of the table, where Arthur's usual seat was, and leaned against the empty King's chair.

He lowered his gaze to the table. "I am not sure how to go about saying what it is I have to say." He started, still not looking at Arthur in the eye. Arthur hearing the tone in his uncle's voice became worried about what Agravaine was about to tell him.

"How about you just start talking." Arthur tried not to sound annoyed, but Agravaine was just making him more nervous by not saying anything and drawing out the suspense.

"I hear many things around the castle." He began drawing random designs on the table with his hand. "the people, the servants, are more open about talking in front of me than opposed to you. About rumors that is. A couple weeks ago I heard a most interesting and appalling rumor—"

Arthur cut him off. "You had me stay behind so you can gossip Agravaine?"

Agravaine looked up from his concentration on the table. "No, if it was just a rumor I would not have come to you, but I fear that this particular rumor has truth to it." Agravaine turned his gaze to the ceiling above. "It involves the queen."

Arthur immediately came to attention, fixing his uncle with a hard stare. "What about her?" Agravaine refused to look at him. "Tell me now!" Agravaine finally turned his gaze to his king; it was a pitying look.

"She has not been faithful to you Arthur." He said it quickly.

Arthur heard every word clear as day. His movements, which were in the process of getting up from the chair, stopped and he slumped down. His brain replaying the words, trying to make sense of them. "Wh—what?"

"I'm sor—"

"With who?" His voice was quiet.

Agravaine practically whispered the name. "Lancelot."

Arthur shook his head. "No." His voice began firmer. "No. It can't be true. It's just rumors. Gwen would never—Lancelot wouldn't—"

"I've seen them!" Agravaine's words echoed in the room. He composed himself, his hands firmly planted on the table beneath him. "I've seen them, with my own two eyes. It's..it's true sire." His voice tapered off at the end. Arthur's first instinct was to yell out 'No!', leave the room, go about his day, and pretend that he had not heard what Agravaine just told him.

…And he wished had done that, but instead he stayed in the chair, his grip on the edge of the table tightening, and asked himself why Agravaine would lie to him about this. He did not want to believe that Gwen would do this, but at the same time he could not see his uncle lying to him.

And really, thinking back, he could see it. He saw them: the looks that were a little too long, the smiles that were a little too bright, the touches—He stopped himself from thinking about that. He knew that they cared for each other more than they should, but he never expected them to act on it. He felt anger like a beast in his chest and it clawed at him, leaving marks of betrayal and pain in their wake.

He loved her.

And maybe it was not perfect. Maybe he could have loved her more. And maybe he was having dreams of someone else, but he was going to make them work. He promised, he vowed to her, and no matter how much he may have loved another, no matter how much he wanted to be with another person, he would have stayed by her side. He had loved her enough to do that, at least. And he would have; he would have loved her until they were old and winkled and tired.

He felt something wet roll down his cheek.

He open his eyes and was met with a watery view of the Round Table beneath him. In jerky movements, he wiped away the tear from his face, stood up, and left the room without saying a word. The door closed loudly behind, echoing in the council room. And Agravaine stayed still in his position by the King's chair, a smirk beginning to play at his lips.

* * *

Gwen looked up from her position of sitting on the bed. She sat on top of the perfectly folded sheets, her midnight blue gown flowing around her. Once, a while back, this gown made her feel beautiful and now all she wanted to do was rip it off and never look at it again. Her eyes connected with the man who had given her the dress. He walked through the open door and shut it quietly behind him.

His eyes turned to Gwen who was looking at him. She had never seen that look on his face before. His face cold, no emotion expect for his eyes which showed hurt and anger in their blue depths. She wondered who could have caused him that much pain.

"Arth—"

He held up a hand and tore his gaze away from Gwen and towards the ground. The gesture was more like a plea than a command. "We—" his voice broke. "We need to talk." He lowered his hand and it dropped limply to his side. He did not move from his position of a few feet in front on the door; not wanting to step closer to Gwen.

"I—why?"

Gwen furrowed her eyebrows; she sat up straighter on the bed. "Why what Arthur?" Her voice was sweet, kind, genuinely caring, and Arthur wanted to scream. _Don't say my name like that. _Arthur's hands clenched at his sides, his head was still bowed to the ground.

"I just want to know…why?" He pleaded and he slowly raised his head so his eyes could meet hers. And she saw his lip tremble slightly. "I gave you everything." His voice was straining and he heard it and it made him angrier that he cared so much.

Gwen understood what he was talking about, and just like that all her secrets were out in the open. She felt a cold hand grip her heart and squeeze and she could not look at him in the eye. Her hands twisted in the sheets, disrupting the perfection of the bed. She let out a shaky breath and the hand around her heart gripped tighter when she realized that she had caused him to look as he did; she had caused him this pain. A small part of her reveled in it though, knowing that he cared enough about her that she could her hurt him like this.

"It's—I—I love him." It was said so quietly, so absolutely that Arthur had no doubt she did. He could hear it in her voice, there was no lie. He hated her for it, yet loved her for it. She had loved Lancelot more than him and that's what drove her in his arms; it was not just about the sex.

Arthur nodded, blinking the tears from his eyes. "I love—loved you Gwen."

"Not enough." She said looking up from bed to stare him straight in the eye. Arthur went to protest and she stood up from the bed, her gown swishing on the floor. "I have never doubted that you loved me, but don't lie to me and say you loved me most." Her voice was strong besides the shakiness of it.

Arthur recoiled slightly. And Gwen started again.

"I'm not justifying my actions—and, and I'm not blaming you. It was my decision and my fault. I cheat—cheated." She forced out the word. "But don't tell me that you haven't thought of another. And I understand why. It hurts to know that you did, and I can't imagine how you feel knowing that I acted on my feelings, but—but it was never you and me. I've seen the way you look at him."

Arthur felt the air leave his chest: _she knew._

"I think I've known it from the beginning." Gwen stated lowering her gaze to the floor as if seeing memories in between the cracks in the stones. "When you asked me to marry you, I knew how you felt and I told myself that it was fine. I told myself that maybe I wasn't first, but as least I was a close second. I thought I could live with that."

"But then I realized that I was not a close second. You love me," she stated with firm conviction looking at Arthur from across the room. "But you need him. If I was to," she choked on her words. "If I was to die, it would hurt you but you—you would move on. But, but if Merlin," saying the name out in the open for the first time caused Arthur's heart to clench as she motion to her side like Merlin was actually in the room. "If Merlin was to die, you would fall. It would break you."

"You love me, of that I have never doubted, but you look at him like, like he's everything like he's the very air you breathe. And I can't compete with that." She sent Arthur a sad smile even though he was not looking at her. "And that's why I went to Lancelot, because he—he looks at me the way you look at Merlin."

Arthur raised his head and looked at Gwen with sadness and understanding. She took a step forward and then stopped. "Don't blame Lancelot. He broke it off and I was the one who pushed us together. He stayed a good man." She sent Arthur a pleading look. "Do whatever you have to do with me, but please leave Lancelot alone. His only crime is loving me."

Arthur nodded slowly and stepped to the side. "Leave." He looked up at her and there still that understanding she saw earlier, but now it was mixed with a depression and pain that caused her to flinch. "Please, just go." Gwen nodded, tears falling silently down her face, she picked up her gown, and walked towards the door. She hesitated as she passed Arthur and went to reach out a hand, probably to place on his shoulder, but stopped herself. She had no right to touch him now. She lowered her hand and left the room.

Arthur stood in the center off the room, unmoving.

His mind kept replaying the words she had said and he still could not believe what had just happened. Only an hour ago they were a couple. A couple that had beat all the odds: the prince and the maid. They had hid their relationship from his father, had secretly been engaged, and somehow made it to the point where they could officially become man and wife. And now, in few short minutes, it was over.

Camelot no longer had a queen and Arthur no longer had a wife.

The door to his room opened, interrupting his thoughts, but he did not move. "Arthur?" He closed his eyes when he heard his manservant's voice. Every time he was about to fall apart Merlin would show. And even in this dark time, he still felt that giddiness rise in him whenever Merlin was near.

He heard the door shut and Merlin's footsteps sounded across the stone. Merlin stood in front of him. "Arthur?" A hand, warm and light, was placed on his shoulder and Arthur could not resist the urge to look up. His eyes met concerned blue ones. He saw the other face through a veil, which made him realize he was crying.

And then the face disappeared and he was pressed into another body. His face was resting in between Merlin's neck and shoulder; the cotton of the shirt and the neckerchief brushing against his skin. Arms were wrapped around him. Arthur closed his eyes and thought about the many times he had wished this, to be held by Merlin in this way and how many times these thoughts were interrupted by Gwen.

He buried his face in the cotton shirt, wrapped his arms around Merlin, and eliminated the few inches of space between them. He could feel the warmth of Merlin's body radiating against his own; it was solid, unmoving, and comfortable. He let the tears fall.

Merlin, for once, did not say a word.

Arthur pulled away a few minutes later. Merlin, reacting to Arthur pulling away, grabbed his hand and led him over to the bed where he sat him down. "Arthur?" It's the only word Merlin had said since he had entered the room and he did not need to say more than that, Arthur knew what he was asking.

"Gwen and Lancelot." He said quietly still not really believing it. Something in his voice must have struck a chord with Merlin, because he immediately sat down next to Arthur on the bed and gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. When he went to move his hand away, Arthur grabbed it and did not let go.

He raised his face to met Merlin's. "Did you know?"

Merlin shook his head. "I had my suspicions but no, I did not know for certain." Arthur nodded and closed his eyes, trying to regain some form of his former self. He was never one to openly show his emotions like this. "Arthur." Merlin gave his hand a squeeze and Arthur opened his eyes to look at him. "You understand that this is not your fault." His eyes were fixed on Arthur's trying to convey this belief.

"Ye—yes I know." _But really Merlin it is partly my fault, I had loved her but not as much as I loved you. And in the end, it was too obvious._ "She loves him." He said it as if it justified everything. Merlin's jaw tightened and he began rubbing small circles on top of Arthur's hand with his thumb.

Arthur averted his gaze from Merlin and looked down at his lap. "I—you." He composed his thoughts and tried to bring up the courage to ask his request. "You won't leave me, will you Merlin?" He sounded small and Arthur hated himself for it, but he needed to know. It felt like, in the end, everyone eventually betrayed him.

The thumb ceased its movements on his hand and he built up the courage to turn to his face to Merlin's. Merlin met his gaze unwaveringly. "I remember a few days ago you promising to never leave me. I guess it's only fair that I promise you the same." He said it simply and with a smile, and Arthur remembered making that promise a few days back.

He gave a smile back to Merlin and then turned away to stare at the wall. He saw memories of him and Guinevere play out on the blank wall. He went through all of them remembering her smile, her laugh, her kiss, and her sitting next to him on the throne. He went through all these memories silently, and began placing them away in his mind. They were the past now.

Merlin stayed by him the entire time, his hand in his, completely silent.

* * *

Arthur had eventually fallen asleep a few hours later. Merlin had realized this when Arthur's head had landed on his shoulder, his eyes shut, and his breathing deep. He had lifted Arthur off of him and placed him lying on the bed. He fixed the pillows behind his head into a more comfortable position, took one last look over the king, and then made his way out of the room.

He had gone into Arthur's room earlier that day after seeing Gwen walking briskly down the hallway, crying. He had remembered seeing that, in a vision, and had immediately raced to see if Arthur was fine. He had not expected to find Arthur crying and looking lost in the middle of his room.

He felt his heart break when he realized that Arthur now knew about Gwen and Lancelot. Merlin knew how much Arthur had loved Gwen, he had seen the love develop over the years. He wished he could be angry with Gwen, but he had seen the way Lancelot looked at her and he has kept so many secrets from Arthur that he felt he had no right to judge.

He had wanted to ask Arthur so many questions: 'How did you find out?', 'Who had told you?', 'What are you going to do with Gwen and Lancelot?'. But he had kept his mouth shut and decided that what Arthur needed was someone there with him, because Merlin had remembered needed the same thing when his mother died. He had not wanted to talk, he just wanted to know that he was not alone. So that's why he had not asked a single thing of Arthur, but sat down next to him for hours without saying a word.

A part of him, a small part of him, was glad Arthur knew. For one, it was one secret that Merlin no longer had to bear and two, it had hurt to see Arthur with Gwen. He had told himself, when they married, that he needed to be happy for them and he was. He loved Arthur enough to pretend, but it still hurt. There was still that little twisted pain each time Arthur would send Gwen a smile or he would give Gwen a small kiss on the lips. That same part that was overjoyed Arthur was no longer with Gwen, was the same part that wanted to go up to Gwen and shake her. Yell at her, tell her why she would ever give up someone like Arthur.

It was that part of Merlin that he would never act on.

So he kept these thoughts and actions to himself as he walked down the dark hallways of Camelot, intending to go to his room to achieve a few hours of sleep. He had made it down the second set of stairs when that same feeling of all his senses being both suppressed and enhanced hit him.

The hallway was now bathed in the light of daytime. It was deserted and quiet expect for the muffled sounds coming from outside the walls. He stepped forward, his foot tripped over a fallen sword on the ground, and he fell into the wall on his right. And that's when the feeling of magic blanketed him.

It was the feeling of heaviness that only powerful magic could create. He turned slowly and found a young man walking towards him. The young man had floppy black hair, a child like face, and pale, intensely pale blue eyes. Even though he was years older, Merlin still recognized him: Mordred.

The young man walked with confidence down the hallway as if he had already seen the outcome and knew he won. Merlin was moving, against his own accord, to stand in the middle of the hallway. Mordred saw him and stopped a couple feet in front of him. They said nothing.

Mordred's hand shot up and his eyes glowed gold. Merlin instinctively reacted, uttering an ancient spell, feeling the power of magic roll off from his fingers to the air around him. Mordred's spell his barrier, the power caused him to slide backwards, and snapped him back into reality.

The hallway transformed back to how it was; dark and empty. Merlin was standing in the center of it, his hand outstretched, and the magic barrier slowly fading away with no Mordred standing on the other side. He could still feel the hum of his magic and Mordred's on his skin.

He lowered his arm and a caught a movement out of the corner of his eye.

That's when he realized the hallway was not as empty as it was before. Gwaine stood behind him, his eyes wide open, his face pale, and his body rigid. Merlin felt the ice cold wave of terror roll through him as his magic had only seconds before.

* * *

**Oh, Gwaine knows!**

**His reaction will be in the next chapter as well as updates with King Lot and King Richardson, Morgana and Mordred, and a meeting between Leon and Arthur, and Merlin deciding to do something incredibly stupid. **

**So look forward to that. And don't forget to review! I love reading them.**


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